Seventeen, an age most teenagers in the UK anticipate turning one day. It is the year one becomes eligible to apply for a provisional driving licence. Less than a decade ago, this was me. I had fantasized about the way my driving test would go; moreover I envisioned my first car. Never did I anticipate that it would have taken much longer for this vision to materialize.
I was the first one out of my group of friends to start driving lessons, and ended up being the last to obtain my full driving licence (Matthew 20:16 “In the same way, the last will be first, and the first will be last, because many are called, but few are chosen”). As much as I prayed, believed, fasted and anointed myself with oil, I just kept failing. I didn’t understand how someone who was trying to do things “God’s way” could not pass a simple driving test. It was disheartening and embarrassing. At one point, I started to doubt where God was: “God, if You are there, surely You will help me pass my driving test”. I quoted scriptures but it just wasn’t working.I stopped believing in myself and my faith was low.
The Lord kept sending messengers and dreams my way encouraging me that I would pass my driving test. I questioned God and wondered whether He could see my current situation, the self-doubt, shame and the money I was investing into this “thing”. I would pray for people and they would pass their driving test, yet I kept failing. I just didn’t understand why God would allow such a thing to happen. Many people continued to ask me whether I had passed yet or how many times I had failed. I would usually change the subject – I felt humiliated and disheartened.
I gave up on “trying” to pass my driving test and surrendered it to God. I said to Him “In Your timing you will allow me to obtain my licence”. That was two years ago. A few months ago, my friend Gladys encouraged me to take up driving again. She continued to motivate me to take a leap of faith and that this time around I would pass. Then three months ago, my prayer partner said God had shown him that I needed a car for ministry purposes and that the time had come to take the test. All the previous emotions started to come back to me: fear of failure, shame, discouragement, financial loss. But I knew I had to face my fears, and surely if this time round God had sent His messengers, He would not allow me to fail (Romans 8:31 “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”).
With the little faith I had, I took the driving test. After the test, the examiner gave me my practical driving test pass certificate. In disbelief, I asked him whether he was sure I had passed. He responded “Oh ye of little faith”. At that moment I knew that God was with me all along (Matthew 17:20 “He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you”).
We all have things in our hearts we deeply desire and we are wondering where God is. I want to encourage you today, that regardless of how your current situation looks, Jesus is still on the throne and has not forgotten about you! If God has promised you that something will happen, there is nothing satan can do – it has to come to pass (Habakkuk 2:3 “For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry”).
I have learnt in life that we cannot compete with God, He knows what is best for us even when we cannot comprehend why particular things happen to us. Only God knows why He allowed me to take this long to obtain my licence. Perhaps He foresaw a car accident? Only He knows (Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose”).
One thing I know is that He always wants the best for His children (Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope”). This experience has taught me to fully surrender to God, be patient and not be ashamed of my scars. You never know who you will inspire with your testimony. A Christian sister asked me today “How could you openly tell people you have failed your driving test 5 times, that’s embarrassing!”. I would rather be honest and give all the glory to God than pretend I failed once or twice.
Let us thank God for the things He does for us. It may not be at the time we wish things to occur but it will still happen.
Fifth time lucky – prayer
Dear heavenly Father,
I thank You so much for this time Lord. I thank You that although at times I may feel forgotten, You never forget about me. I thank You for my life and for the fresh grace and mercy You pour upon my life daily (Lamentations 3:22-23 “The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning). Father, today I bring before you (state your heart’s desire). Lord You know how much I desire to see this come to pass. I have tried everything humanly possible to make things happen, but things have failed. People have laughed at me, in fact I feel humiliated. I pray Lord that in Your perfect timing this thing will manifest. Give me the grace to be patient and await Your perfect timing. Help me to be at rest and for Your peace to dwell in my heart (Philippians 4:7 “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”). Help me not to envy others but know that You are in control of this situation. I thank You in advance that this will happen, all for Your glory. In Jesus name I pray AMEN