Dealing with singleness

Dear Sister,

I am at that age where the majority of my friends are either married with kids or in a long term relationship. I am finding it difficult not to wonder why I am still single. I have been praying for a husband since I was 18 and feel like God has forgotten me. I know that we are meant to enjoy our singleness and focus on God but I am not feeling content moreover my family and friends keep on reminding me of my single state. Perhaps you can advise me on what to do.


Dear Sister,
I absolutely understand what you’re going through even though I’m still quite young and my friends are all in uni but I’ve asked my self why some of them are in long term relationships and I’m still single. At first I thought there was something physically wrong with me. I asked myself- “what do they have that I don’t have?”…. But very recently, God spoke to me and revealed something to me. Proverbs 18:22 says “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord….” the key word in that verse is “wife”

 It doesn’t say he who finds a “woman” finds a good thing…. it’s he who finds a “wife”. That means that your husband must find you when you are already a wife. Meaning you need to know what the role of a wife is. How do you do that? Read your word, strengthen your relationship with God and he will mould you into the wife he wanted you to be so when your husband comes, you are ready to receive him!!!

Another thing, don’t go looking for your husband…. you might miss him, stay in the presence of the Lord and he will find you. Don’t go and look for him and drag him to the presence of God. That’s not how it works. “He who finds” not she who finds. Your season of singleness is for you build your relationship with Christ before you can have a godly relationship…. stay in the presence of God and wait to be found. If he hasn’t found you yet, it’s either he’s in the presence of God looking and you’re not there or you’re in the presence of God and he’s still trying to find where that is….

But remember before you can enter a relationship, ask yourself how your relationship with Christ is… you won’t be able to love the way Christ intends us to love without experiencing love itself. Get into a relationship with love (1 John 4:8) and then when God has transformed you into the wife he made you to be, your husband will find you.

I write this as I speak to myself too sis. I pray you are encouraged ❤❤


Hello my dear sister.
I am a [seasoned] single Christian woman and can give you what you seek – answers. 😊 There are several reasons why you are still single. 1) You are not READY for a husband yet. When you are ready – you will not be wondering why you don’t have one yet. You will not even be looking for one. 2) You say you know that you are supposed to enjoy your singleness and focus on God; but you used the word: BUT, so that cancels out everything you just said. You are honestly NOT focusing on God; and you should be “content” with your singleness not so much enjoying it. You should be enjoying Life. 3) If you trust God, then trust that His timing is perfect. And God doesn’t want to give His children just any thing. He wants the best for them. 4) You also said that you want “a husband” and That makes you seem desperate. I just wanted a husband too, and being so desperate for one – I settled for the first man that came along. We are divorced now, and had more bad times during our 11 years of marriage than good times. I married again; and again Divorced because I didn’t wait on God.
My dear sister and woman of God, please take my advice solely out of heartfelt Love, because I do not want to see you travel down the same bad road(s) as I. Continue to pray, but pray for a Godly man to find you–that Good thing. And while you are waiting on God to send him your way -prepare yourself to be a Good wife. And the only way to do that, is to draw closer to God. When you make God the love of your life; you stop being so anxious and desperate. And then you will become content with where you are. Your singleness is your personal time to learn to love YOU -who GOD created you to be. God loves you so much, He sent His Son to die for you. And a Godly man will love God just as much that he too, will die for you. God wants the best for His children and doesn’t want us to settle for second best or help Him out, or to rush Him. Just be still, and KNOW He is God and is working everything out on your favor. Your patience is being tested. And the teacher is always silent during the test!😉 But He IS There, and will NEVER forget about you. Every breath that you take proves that. Just trust Him with your whole heart- with everything in you. He is going to blow your mind. And please don’t allow family and friends to discourage you. Let them know also that: Everything is in God’s timing. Not yours and definitely not theirs. And that the Lord is the Perfect Matchmaker and will not sent you any “junk man.” 😀 You WILL receive the Perfect husband, made just for you. Just WAIT ON THE LORD: AND BE OF GOOD COURAGE, AND HE WILL STRENGTHEN YOUR HEART: WAIT I SAY, ON THE LORD. –PSALM 27:14
❤ V.

“Systas, United” in CHRIST Women’s Ministry

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