christian woman | Pearl Sisters

ps-3 I always admired the stories in the bible of God speaking directly to His children. I was in awe and wondered how people could possibly not listen to an instruction given to them by God. ‘I mean He is God- who does that!’

Little did I realize that I was that person myself. I mean, He may not have appeared to me in a burning bush like Moses, but He was indeed speaking and I was ignoring Him on purpose! How did I know it was Him talking to me? I just knew it; ‘those thoughts could never have been my own’. Most often, an instruction was placed on my heart and I would ignore it because of its inconvenience. But the burden would not go away until I acted upon it. Furthermore, I would repetitively have the same dream; different scenarios, but the same message. And still, I would not react upon it. I was running away from God- disobedience.

There have been other scenarios when I did a runner. Usually, when pleasing myself was the top priority rather than pleasing God. At the time it feels great eating the piece of triple chocolate cake, but once the calories start adding up, the guilt kicks in – is it really worth it? The same melody would play in my mind over and over again: ‘How can I now go back to God and repent for the hundredths time? I am too ashamed to even call myself Christian ‘– guilty.

The beauty of God is that He is all knowing and sees all. The things that man tries to cover up, He has seen them. In fact, knowing that You would do these things did not change His mind about dying on the cross for you – unconditional love.

When God instructed Jonah and gave him a word, he disobeyed and ran away.

Jonah 1:1-3 The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.”But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord.

The amazing thing about God is that He does not give up us, even when we turn our backs on Him. He brings various situations our way, to align us to His perfect will for our lives.

Jonah 1:4Then the　Lord　sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up.　

Moreover, because of His unconditional love, He can unsettle a situation around you to get your attention.

Jonah 1: 14:16Then they cried out to the　Lord, “Please,　Lord, do not let us die for taking this man’s life. Do not hold us accountable for killing an innocent man,　for you,　Lord, have done as you pleased.”　Then they took Jonah and threw him overboard, and the raging sea grew calm.　At this the men greatly feared　the　Lord, and they offered a sacrifice to the　Lord　and made vows　to him.

Even when we turn the wrong direction, God is always ready to capture us and lead us unto the right path.

Jonah 1:17 Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.

One thing I loved about the story of Jonah is that only did he eventually do the will of God, He gave Him thanksgiving. When Jonah said a prayer of sincerity, God delivered Him.

Jonah 2:9-10 But I, with shouts of grateful praise,will sacrifice to you.

What I have vowed I will make good.I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’”

And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.

If you are like Jonah and have been running away from God, He is ready to embrace you in His arms. I encourage you today, to say a prayer of sincerity; God has not given up on you and will deliver you in Jesus name.

Dear Lord,

I thank You for the gift of life, for loving me unconditionally. Although I have been faithless, You have been faithful. Today, I come before You and repent of my sins. I repent of all the sins I may have committed, knowingly and unknowingly. There are some things I am so ashamed to say that I have done, I pray that You will help me to forgive myself. As You forgive me, give me the grace to forgive others. Today, I rededicate my life to you. I totally surrender all to You, without You I am nothing. I have tried the ways of the world, and have gained no satisfaction. Only You can complete me. I pray that You will order my steps, guide me in the right path and be my decision maker. I pray that You will help me to fulfil the plans You have for me in my life, and to make an impact in Your kingdom. In Jesus name I pray, AMEN.

There have been many times during my Christian walk that I felt judged by other Christians, in particular women. In fact, most of the judgements I have faced during my life have come from other Christians. You would expect as Christians that we would be the first to love and embrace. However, expecting individuals to abide to ‘Christian standards’ at all times is something one should strive for and something one cannot always attain (Romans 3:23). Nonetheless, what do you define as Christian standards? Is it something you have grown up to know? Is it what you have read in the bible? Or is it what you believe is the right way of living?

Many times, other Christians made me believe that I was not Christian enough. Examples of these were that I was a non-church goer at one point (read Former church girl), I drink an alcoholic drink very occasionally and my best friend is a non-believer. The list is endless!

The biggest shock came when one of my closest friends whom I grew up with got married. We became saved around the same time and in fact she was one of my first Christian friends. In fact, we walked the ‘baby Christian’ journey together. However, when she got married, I didn’t hear from her again. I was informed that she no longer wanted to associate herself with me as I was ‘single’ and only wanted to associate with married Christian women in the church. I felt unworthy. I haven’t seen her till this day.

The second encounter was this year when my friend invited me to a women’s cell group. It was amazing, a great group of women and I was really blessed by the bible study. I had in fact decided within me that I was going to return the following week. However, during the praise and worship, the Lord gave me a vision for one of the girls which I later shared. She was also blessed and she said it was confirmation to what God had been telling her. The next day, one of the girls called me. She interrogated me about what she said was my ‘lack of knowledge’ of the bible.

She started questioning me about my ‘visions’ and informed me that I was ‘spiritually suffering’ for not attending church. She went on for an hour on the phone talking about how my Christian walk was meant to be and how I was doing it all wrong. How can one know all this after one fellowship meeting? I was left hurt and disappointed. I started questioning my position in Christ, my walk. I started to wish I never shared the prophetic vision God showed me because I knew that had caused the tension. I even started to doubt my gift. But, I knew I did the right thing to share and do what God told me. I never went back.

These are just a few examples of the judgements I have encountered, and may God forgive me for all the times I have judged others. However, I have concluded that these women have their own insecurities and need our prayers.

One thing I have learnt during this Christian walk is that Christians are just normal human beings like the rest of us and not superhuman. They make mistakes and at times do act carnally. Therefore, we cannot expect too much or be surprised that a Christian ‘acted ungodly’. We all need as much prayer as we can get,

Let us stand together as sisters and love and embrace one another. We cannot walk this spiritual journey alone. Always remember who you are in Christ Jesus. Jesus died for you on the cross because of your sinful ways, but in His eyes, you were worth it!

Not Christian enough- pointers

Don’t try and justify your relationship with God or your Christian walk to anyone, God knows and sees all.
Ask God to give you the grace to love all mankind.
Ask God for grace not to judge other Christians. We can only see from the surface what one’s life is like. God will also judge you the same way judge others.
Don’t stop interacting with other Christians because previous bad experiences. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you to the right people.
Don’t expect too much from people even if they are Christians. A lot of Christians are still dealing with underlying issues.
Don’t allow anyone else to define who you are, know your identity in Christ Jesus.
Pray and bless those who persecute you (Romans 12:14). It is easier said than done, but by the grace of God it is possible.

Pearl Sisters

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