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bullying, christianity, faith, forgiveness, jesus, prayer, teaching, testimony

Bullied at work

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Two years ago, I moved to The Netherlands for work. On my first day, I was introduced to my team. My manager told my colleagues which “band” I was on and that I had no prior experience. She made a sarcastic comment and said “.. not sure why she is on this band considering she doesn’t have any experience”. My new colleagues started to complain saying that it took them ‘years’ to reach that band and that it was not fair. That is when my horrifying experience began. There I was day in day out in an office with colleagues who refused to talk to me. I ate my lunch alone. They were supposed to train me on the job, but refused to train me. After two months, my manager instructed them they had to do so at all cost.

After 3 weeks of training, my colleagues informed my manager that I was ‘not competent’ and would never be able to learn the tasks of the role. They refused to sign me off, thus my manager assigned me to do filing and photocopying. The lady who was working me was unfriendly from the beginning. Eventually we got round to talking about church and she told me she was a church goer. She was so cold, she would come in, not say hello and sit next to me for the next 8 hours. Then reported me to my manager that I was making a “mess of things” and unable to file. She reported that when she left the room I would check her e-mail (her desktop was locked) and go through her locker (which was locked with a key). By this time, I was becoming depressed, unable to sleep at night and asking God why He allowed me to move to The Netherlands to endure such hardship.

My manager whom I had confided in, also turned against me. She was the only one who would go to lunch with me. She made it clear that she was my manager and had a High School diploma. My university piece of paper was useless. I was on a one year contract. Without my knowledge, my manager informed the director that I was not performing well and that my contract should not be extended. The director had hired me from the UK and was shocked by the feedback. He said that my interview was very good and was surprised I was not managing the role. God gave me favour with this man, and he renewed by contract for a further 11 months. My manager was not pleased about it and ensured that I did not get a pay rise.

I was nominated for an awards ceremony for the members of staff who attributed to the core values of the company. I was humbled, thankful and had a prepared a speech. Two days before the event, one of the organizers told me they had to take me off from the event. They received information that I was not a good role model for the company and based on the information given, they had chosen another candidate. It ended up that one of my colleagues went to the organizer and spoke many lies. I was heartbroken.

Also, all my colleagues were allowed to go on courses besides me. It was one excuse after the other as to why I couldn’t follow a course. Moreover I already had a “piece of paper” and so there was nothing else they could offer me. That is when I decided to pursue a masters whilst studying fulltime without their knowledge. I completed this with a distinction within one year on a scholarship (see God’s restoration blogpost ).

The maltreatment at work continued, there were days when I just wanted to quit. I went back to the Father and reminded Him of the promise He gave me when I moved. I had received a prophetic message that God opened the door for the career move to elevate me. However, this was a contrast. One day, I said to myself, I could no longer take the treatment. I made an appointment with the director and told him everything whilst uncontrollably crying. That is when he told me all the lies my manager had told him. The next day, I was moved to another department. In this department, I have been accepted and the colleagues are wonderful. I also now have a permanent contract.

A few weeks ago, I posted on my Linkedin that I had completed my masters with a picture of my graduation ceremony. Who were the first to comment? My former manager and the colleague who got me removed from the awards ceremony and refused to sign my training. Then, I bumped into them in the corridor and they were praising me for how amazing my academic achievement was and that they had no idea I was doing the course whilst working. I politely said thank you and walked away. I forgive them for their ignorance.

Psalm 23:5

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

I can now confirm that (less than a year later) I have been promoted to one of the prestige positions within the company. This was a position that I did not apply for, but was handed to me by the Vice President of the business unit for my academic success and hard work . In addition to this, the lady who reported me for not being able to file will be reporting to me- THANK YOU JESUS!

I want to encourage you today that God sees your struggle-nothing goes unnoticed. Sometimes, God allows us to go through the fire to build character and produce testimonies. Once God elevates you, He will elevate you higher than you ever imagined!

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christianity, encouragement, faith, hope, prayer, study, testimony

God’s restoration

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restorarionI have always loved studying. My mum sometimes reminds me that when I was in primary school and did not get an A, I would sob the whole day and cry. I wouldn’t say I was naturally ‘clever’, but hard work was installed in me.

Five years ago, last term of my degree in Biomedical Science. My research project was the last component to complete my degree. My supervisor, Mrs H, refused to offer any assistance. She didn’t come to the lab to show us how to hold a pipette, let alone explain to us what microvesicles were. She ignored all emails. With four weeks to go, I knew that if a divine intervention did not occur ASAP, my final grade for my dissertation would be 0 and I would drop down to a third class degree. I remembered how three years prior, I had gotten a conditional offer to study medicine. The day my exams started, my dad passed away. I chose to not go to Uganda to bury my father, and focus on ‘passing my exams’. I ended up failing miserably, and my route was diverted to Biomedical Science. Is this how my journey was going to end once again?

One day in the lab, I bumped into a PhD student conversing with one of the lab technicians. The lab technician introduced me and said: “Vanessa is also doing a project in microvesicles”. That is how myself and Ahmed clicked and for the next three weeks, we worked long hours on my project and even stumbled upon a new scientific discovery. His supervisor, the professor was so impressed with my work; he invited me for an interview for a PhD position. The interview went well, and given an offer to commence in 3 months. Mrs H wanted to submit a proposal for a research paper using my results. She contacted me and asked if I could send it before the due date and that she would refer to me in the ‘abstract’. I told her that I no longer had the word version of my dissertation. Why would I help someone who offered me zero assistance? In hindsight, perhaps I should have sent it to her. Out of spite, she went to the professor and I don’t know what was discussed in that office, but he was no longer interested in having me on board. I never heard from him again.

By God’s grace, I ended up completing my degree with a 2:1. One day, one of the technicians called me in confidence and told me I was never to tell or show anyone what he was going to show me. I agreed. He told me that they had stored research projects in the office next to the lab and he found my dissertation. I saw the grade 87 % being crossed out with a red pen to 70%. I was heart-broken.

I knew that with my research project, I would be able to attend a better university for further studies. I got a place at one of the best universities in the world to pursue my masters. I had worked as a science technician at a secondary school, and used all the money I earnt to pay for the course. From the first day I started at the university, I felt like I didn’t belong. Perhaps it was because I was one of few women of colour on my campus. I worked extremely hard during that year and didn’t go out (only had money for my travel card and for my lunch).

When I received my results, I scored very highly on my thesis, but received 0 for all three exams. I knew the course was intense and challenging, but didn’t expect to fail that badly. I was informed I have failed the course, not allowed to see my test papers and to come back in a year to resit. During this year, I was not offered any help and had to pay for these resits. I spent an entire year studying whilst working at this point. I sat the exams and I received the same results. I was not allowed to appeal, not allowed to see my test papers and was not allowed to receive any form of diploma. All they were willing to do is issue a letter from admin that I ‘attended’ the university.

For me, that was the most painful situation I have ever been in. I worked immensely hard to raise the money, studied long hours to end up empty-handed. I cried to God, “Take me home, I am tired of these disappointments”. It was my heart’s desire that God would one day compensate me for the disgrace, pain and disappointments.

Two years went by and I was working in the cytogenetics lab at one of the London NHS hospitals. The NHS was funding a handful of employees to pursue a masters in Genetics (course I had previously done) at one of the affiliated universities. I believed God for restoration and my manager put me forward and I was given the grant to do the masters (part-time whilst working full-time). I was so thankful, as this is what I had asked Him for. However, the following week, I was offered a job in Amsterdam which was a stepping stone in my career and an offer I could not reject. Why has this job offer come at a time like this? As painful as it was, I rejected the masters offer and moved to Amsterdam.

For months I pondered upon whether I had made the right choice to leave the masters opportunity for a job. I still didn’t have peace about it, so I started looking for masters courses within my current field (pharmaceuticals). I applied for a distant learning masters course in Pharmaceutical Sciences at one the top UK University for studying Pharmacy. They offered me a place on the one year course. I couldn’t afford to work part-time, so this meant working 40 hours whilst pursuing a full-time masters. I took a leap of faith and paid the tuition fee. On the day of enrolment, I happened to stumble on a scholarship on the university site. This scholarship was a full academic scholarship. I had nothing to lose (I had already lost enough) and decided once again to take a leap of faith and submitted the forms. To my surprise, I was invited for a Skype interview with the professors. A week later, I was granted a full scholarship and my fees was reimbursed in full (this happened to be on my birthday). This was last year. Two weeks ago, I was awarded a distinction for my masters.

God is amazing, He is big. It is us who limit Him. He is the one who restores, honors and blesses. When He blesses, He does not hold back. He taught me how to hold unto Him during pain, to have faith for the impossible and to never let go of my heart’s desire. I thank God for the tribulations because out of it He has molded me, as well as birthed out a testimony glorifying Him.

For it is written:

The LORD says, “I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you.

Who would ever have thought that the girl who missed out on medical school, PhD, and a masters from a top university would one day complete her masters in one year with a distinction whilst working full-time on a full time scholarship? That could only be the hand of God!

career, christianity, faith, god, inspiration, job, testimony

The limitless Father

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I love prophecy. I have always had an awe for what is to come, to write it down and check it off in my notepad when it comes to pass. Some of them have come to pass, others were emotional messages and the rest I still believe God for.  The beauty of prophecy is that when it does come to pass, it is a reminder of God’s faithfulness and the fulfillment of His word.

I went to a women’s cell group where we prayed for one another and shared what we felt God had placed in our hearts. There was a lady there who gave me a word that I would move abroad sometime soon. I have always been the adventurous type, but that was impossible. I mean how on earth would I get a job overseas, moreover what kind of job and which country. I thought to myself, should I start looking for jobs and make this happen? It all didn’t make sense to me.

I was content with my permanent job and prospects of having any form of international career shifts were slim. I wrote the prophetic message down with the date and the lady’s name and surrendered it to God. I said: “Father, if this is Your will, I surrender it to You, You will make it happen”.I enjoyed my job and to be fair I was getting by, but I was not content. I wanted to achieve so much more. I had a salary figure in mind that seemed  impossible to attain but always said, if only I could earn that, I would be so happy.

Less than a year later, my CV was everywhere on the net. I was applying for jobs left right and centre because I felt like I had outgrown my position and wanted to attain a better post. A few months prior, I had sent my CV to someone I knew worked for a recruitment company, but they didn’t get back to me. However, out of the blue, they called me and informed me that they had secured a telephone interview for me for a job overseas and that the interview was the next day. I was astonished as I never told them to put me forward, let alone did I apply for the job. I ended up postponing the telephone interview by a week, as I needed time to prepare and think things over. The telephone interview went well and was invited for a face-to-face interview the following week. I already had a pre-booked holiday that week starting from the Wednesday and said I would be able to attend in two weeks’ time. However, they were unable to postpone. I then decided to go to the interview on Tuesday, fly in the morning and return that very evening to London. God blessed me with favour, and during my holiday I was informed that they had hired me and wanted me to start the following month.

It was all very overwhelming, I didn’t have time to think about it and had to make a hasty decision.  Therefore, I decided not to take the job, as I didn’t want to rush into things I never planned for. I knew that it was a good opportunity, but the most important thing was the will of God. then went back to the sister who prayed for me the previous year and gave me the prophetic message. We prayed together, and she encouraged me that this was the direction the Lord wanted me to take and that it would be an unmissable opening in my career.

I took the word she gave me, handed in my one-month notice and started the moving process. I had mixed emotions, going to the unknown, life-changing move, leaving behind my family and friends. However, I knew in my heart that this was where God wanted me to be. God was so merciful, not only did He bless me with the salary I desired, He exceeded my expectations.

I have faced many disappointments in life, and that was what I feared most, for the enemy to steal my blessing. So, I didn’t tell anyone about my move until I signed the contract. Also, I didn’t want anyone to discourage my decision because I knew in my heart that this was the direction God wanted me to take.

I want to encourage you today that God is with you. Sometimes, it may feel like He is far away, but that is because we are distant. God wants you to prosper. Irrespective of what your current situation looks like, He is there and wants the best for you. He wants you as His child to excel above your expectations, desires and prayers. He wants to give you more than you wish for or what you are worth. Why? Because He loves you. He loves you so dearly that when He died on the cross, it did not matter to Him what sin you committed, but that you would be saved!

Take a leap of faith today and ask God for the impossible. Write your vision and prayer point down and surrender it to the Lord. He will take care of your needs, your desires, and give you more than you ask for. If He can do it for me, assuredly, He WILL do it for.

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bible study, christian woman, christianity, church, prayer, repentance, teaching, testimony, wisdom, woman of god

Prayer of sincerity

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ps-3I always admired the stories in the bible of God speaking directly to His children. I was in awe and wondered how people could possibly not listen to an instruction given to them by God. ‘I mean He is God- who does that!’

Little did I realize that I was that person myself. I mean, He may not have appeared to me in a burning bush like Moses, but He was indeed speaking and I was ignoring Him on purpose! How did I know it was Him talking to me? I just knew it; ‘those thoughts could never have been my own’. Most often, an instruction was placed on my heart and I would ignore it because of its inconvenience. But the burden would not go away until I acted upon it. Furthermore, I would repetitively have the same dream; different scenarios, but the same message. And still, I would not react upon it. I was running away from God- disobedience.

There have been other scenarios when I did a runner. Usually, when pleasing myself was the top priority rather than pleasing God. At the time it feels great eating the piece of triple chocolate cake, but once the calories start adding up, the guilt kicks in – is it really worth it? The same melody would play in my mind over and over again: ‘How can I now go back to God and repent for the hundredths time? I am too ashamed to even call myself Christian ‘– guilty.

The beauty of God is that He is all knowing and sees all. The things that man tries to cover up, He has seen them. In fact, knowing that You would do these things did not change His mind about dying on the cross for you – unconditional love.

When God instructed Jonah and gave him a word, he disobeyed and ran away.

Jonah 1:1-3 The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.”But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord.

The amazing thing about God is that He does not give up us, even when we turn our backs on Him. He brings various situations our way, to align us to His perfect will for our lives.

Jonah 1:4　Then the　Lord　sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up.　

Moreover, because of His unconditional love, He can unsettle a situation around you to get your attention.

Jonah 1: 14:16　Then they cried out to the　Lord, “Please,　Lord, do not let us die for taking this man’s life. Do not hold us accountable for killing an innocent man,　for you,　Lord, have done as you pleased.”　Then they took Jonah and threw him overboard, and the raging sea grew calm.　　At this the men greatly feared　the　Lord, and they offered a sacrifice to the　Lord　and made vows　to him.

Even when we turn the wrong direction, God is always ready to capture us and lead us unto the right path.

Jonah 1:17 Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.

One thing I loved about the story of Jonah is that only did he eventually do the will of God, He gave Him thanksgiving. When Jonah said a prayer of sincerity, God delivered Him.

Jonah 2:9-10 But I, with shouts of grateful praise,will sacrifice to you.

What I have vowed I will make good.I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’”

And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.

If you are like Jonah and have been running away from God, He is ready to embrace you in His arms. I encourage you today, to say a prayer of sincerity; God has not given up on you and will deliver you in Jesus name.

Dear Lord,

I thank You for the gift of life, for loving me unconditionally. Although I have been faithless, You have been faithful. Today, I come before You and repent of my sins. I repent of all the sins I may have committed, knowingly and unknowingly. There are some things I am so ashamed to say that I have done, I pray that You will help me to forgive myself. As You forgive me, give me the grace to forgive others. Today, I rededicate my life to you. I totally surrender all to You, without You I am nothing. I have tried the ways of the world, and have gained no satisfaction. Only You can complete me. I pray that You will order my steps, guide me in the right path and be my decision maker. I pray that You will help me to fulfil the plans You have for me in my life, and to make an impact in Your kingdom. In Jesus name I pray, AMEN.

bible, christianity, church, confession, encouragement, faith, forgive, forgiveness, god, grace, healing, inspiration, jesus, mercy, prayer, repent, testimony, women

Let go and let God

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Letting go and letting God, is a statement we have been hearing throughout our Christian walks. It sounds so easy, yet takes the grace to be able to fully accomplish. We say to ourselves that we have fully surrendered all to God. But have we really done so? Are there some things we partially surrender and are keeping to ourselves?

Time and time again we deceive ourselves and say we have gotten over something, yet the residues are still hidden within our hearts. We tell ourselves they are not there and cover it up. Other times we are not ready to deal with them and again pretentiously neglect them. Or, we accept that they are there and refuse to let go of them.

A couple of weeks ago, I was feeling troubled. I couldn’t pray, I couldn’t serve the way I would usually do and I had no peace. I tried everything to pin point what may possibly be making me feel this way. It was then that the Lord brought a friend of mine to my attention. As I envisioned this person, emotions of rage, pain, unforgiveness, bitterness and hatred came to my spirit. I remembered all the hurtful things this individual did to me, and the fact that they refused to apologize for it all. I had made up in my heart that I would “forgive” them but never “forget” what they did unless they had apologized.

Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

The Holy Spirit encouraged me to love her, and see her the way He sees her. So I started to pray for her. I prayed for God to change her, for her salvation and for God to remove the heart of stone etc. It was at this point that the Lord gave me a vision, and I was standing in front of a mirror. It was then that He revealed the bitterness, anger, hatred, unforgiveness, lack of compassion and mercy that was buried in my heart towards her. He then showed me my house and it was a total mess. He then told me: You cannot ask me to change someone when you have all this clutter within you. You have clean your own house before you clean another someone else’s.

Matthew 7:3-5 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

It was then that I realized I had not surrendered everything concerning this person to the Lord, and was still holding unto it deep within my heart. Not only so, but the seed of bitterness had taken over my personality. My compassion and mercy for people had been taken over by this seed without me realizing.

We spend so much time focusing on how we feel and on the faults of others. We spend little time examining ourselves and the flaws we have. We are consumed with emotions. We forget how compassionate and pure in heart Jesus was. That even when He was being crucified, He prayed a prayer of compassion.

Luke 23:34 Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.

At times, we find it hard to forgive other people, but if God was to deal with us the same way, based on all the sins we have committed in our entire lifetime, we wouldn’t be worthy of receiving anything.

We are in a season where God is cleansing our hearts, our spirits, our households. The vision the Lord gave me was of a washing machine, and He said that He will use His Holy Spirit to cleanse and regenerate us, if only we are willing. My prayer for you today is that God will give you the grace to fully surrender all that is hidden in your hearts to Him and let go. He wants to restore you and make you whole again. I pray that You will get the courage to stand before that mirror and ask God to reveal all the things still hidden in our hearts that we still hold unto. Only He can heal you and make you whole again

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Let go and Let God – pointers

  • Make a list of all the things hidden that You have been unable to surrender to God.
  • Be honest with God about how you feel about situations you have been unable to surrender to Him.
  • Pray and ask God for the grace to surrender them to Him.
  • Pray for healing, deliverance and restoration with your heart, mind and spirit.
  • Imagine yourself standing before a mirror and ask God reveal all the hidden things within your heart that are not pleasing unto Him.
  • Pray and ask God to deliver you from these sins.
  • Use the word of God to speak positivity over these sins and replace them with positive words (e.g the fruit of the Spirit-Galatians 5:22-23).
  • Ask God to give you spiritual eyes to see His children the way He sees them.
  • Pray for God to give you a heart of compassion and mercy towards His children.
  • Ask God to give you a tongue that declares positivity over your life daily.

 

Let go and let God – youtube teaching