The matters of the heart, the unseen secrets that only the Lord is able to unveil. One can hide it from man, but not from the Lord. Our short falls, addictions and sinful nature- He sees them all. In this season of “waiting”, I asked God to search my heart, reveal all things I do that are not pleasing unto Him, and help me become a better person. When you are doing what God has ordained for you to do in life, the camouflage of perfection can be deceptive- “Since God speaks to me and is using me, I am guaranteed a place in heaven and I am living a righteous life”.
A few days ago, this became the manifestation of an answered prayer. I had a dream in which I saw a large crowd of people at a train station. This large group of people were heading towards a very long and broad road. I tried to squeeze myself into this road and walk with this crowd of people. There were so many people all of different ethnic backgrounds. As I journeyed with these people, I saw a friend of mine. He was walking together jezebel and smiling; no idea what his destination was (Revelation 2:20 “But I have this against you, that you tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess and is teaching and seducing my servant to practice sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols. I gave her time to repent, but she refuses to repent of her sexual immorality. Behold, I will throw her onto a sickbed, and those who commit adultery with her I will throw into great tribulation, unless they repent of her works, and I will strike her children dead. And all the churches will know that I am he who searches mind and heart, and I will give to each of you according to your works”).
It is then that I realized that this was the road to hell (Matthew 7:13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it”).
I woke up and asked God for mercy and forgiveness. I interceded for my friend, all the people on the broad road and prayed for myself. One will ask,” I try to live a righteous life, I repent every day, why would I be on the road to destruction?”. Yesterday night this question was answered. I had a dream whereby the Lord brought me to a house and invited three guests. The first guest was a family member who I sincerely dislike based on their treatment towards me. The other two guests were people I do not particularly get on with well. As soon as they walked in, an emotional rage went through my spirit: detestation, hatred, bitterness, repulsion- God have mercy. The Holy Spirit then spoke to me and said “it is because of your unforgiveness” (1 John 1:9” If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness”). I woke up and started to ask God for mercy and the grace to forgive these people, unforgiveness does not come easily for me. I then started praying for them and their salvation (Matthew 5:44 “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”). I then asked God to forgive me for my sinful nature (“Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins”).
I didn’t realize how deep routed this unforgiveness was; hence why we need to ask God to search our heart (Jeremiah 17:10 “I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve”).
During my time in ministry, I have encountered many people who do not want know the truth, and will only acknowledge positive revelations from the Lord. I remember once praying with a friend, (the one whom I saw walking with jezebel in my dream). God was revealing the need for him to turn away from his sinful nature of sexual immorality and repent; as well as revealing positive revelations. He insulted me for mentioning the sexual immorality, but embraced the positive revelations (Isaiah 30:9-10 “For these are rebellious people, deceitful children, children unwilling to listen to the Lord’s instruction, They say to the seers, “See no more visions! and to the prophets, “Give us no more visions of what is right! Tell us pleasant things, prophesy illusions”). People need to understand that God reveals our sinful nature to redeem us because He loves us. He wants all His children to join Him in eternity. There is no sin greater than the other, sin is sin!. It’s easier to spot an imperfection on another and judge, but what is inside of you? (Matthew 7 :1-6“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”).
My encourage you today to ask God to search your heart, reveal all things you do that are not pleasing unto Him, and help you become a better person. We all fall short, each and every one of us. Let us not become comfortable in our daily lives, thinking because we are “saved” we will go to heaven. We need to be on a guard at all times (1 Thessalonians 5:2-4 “for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. But you, brothers and sisters, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief”). Doing God’s work does not guarantee you heaven, all the spiritual gifts He has given us are by grace and not works. We still need to live a just life and strive to be Christ-like (Luke 13:22-30 “Then Jesus went through the towns and villages, teaching as he made his way to Jerusalem. Someone asked him, “Lord, are only a few people going to be saved? ”He said to them, “Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, ‘Sir, open the door for us. ’“But he will answer, ‘I don’t know you or where you come from.’ “Then you will say, ‘We ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.’ “But he will reply, ‘I don’t know you or where you come from. Away from me, all you evildoers!’“ There will be weeping there, and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, but you yourselves thrown out. People will come from east and west and north and south, and will take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God. Indeed there are those who are last who will be first, and first who will be last.”). My prayer for you is boldness; that even when the Lord reveals your faults, you will embrace the revelation, repent, and strive to overcome.
Pearl Sisters 