Category Archives: relationship

The three-folded cord- testimonial

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The three-folded cord

Whenever I remember this testimony, it reminds me of the need to have tough skin and the persistency not to give up. The practicality of holding on to the blessing God has given you, and not to surrender it. To encourage myself in the word of God, even when the world believes my situation will not change- silence those words. To reprogram our minds to live in victory, knowing that God will not disappoint us for totally surrendering to Him.

The beauty of a prayer partner is that through the journey of partnership, you experience life transforming events that only the two of you will ever understand. “What do you want to pray about”? I asked him. He responded: “I want to pray for my wife and for my marriage. Things have been challenging and my wife does not see things spiritually the way I do”. I knew that things were deeper than he was telling me, and that he was desperate for a divine intervention from God. With time, he started to explain the challenges he was facing, and He needed someone that would stand with him in prayer, to usher him into his breakthrough.

For the coming 6 months, we prayed every day without fail. I was doing my masters at the time and was very busy with assignments. But I always made time for our prayer session. It was something to look forward to as we were believing God for a miracle.

He knew my timetable and I knew his. We became part of one another’s lives. I would look for an empty lecture room or even sit in the car park for us to pray on the phone. He would call me on his lunch breaks from his car and was willing to skip anything to ensure we kept the momentum going.

Some days were good, you could feel God’s presence. However, other days were dull, and we were asking ourselves if it was even worth carrying on. The more we prayed, the more dreams and visions we both would got about each other lives and the clearer we were able to hear God’s voice. There were days when he was weary and tired, and I had to keep giving him words of encouragement to keep going. His current situation was getting worse and contrary from what we were praying for. But he kept on praying. There were days when I would ask myself whether I was wasting my time, but the Holy Spirit kept reminding me I needed to be there for him.  It is amazing how much you can learn from one another. I am more of a seer and he has immense knowledge of the word. I now understand that iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17).

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After a couple of months of praying, my prayer partner called me. I will never forget that May. He shared what had happened in their household. He did not tell me in detail what exactly happened. He said he and his wife were in the living room and an unexplainable presence entered the room. At that moment, something touched the both of them and they decided to rededicate their marriage to the Lord. For them that was a new start, new beginning in their marriage and their relationship with God. (Ecclesiastes 4:12  And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken).

Our prayer sessions were replaced with his prayer sessions with his wife. She is a seer, God shows her things concerning him, and he uses his knowledge in the word to add to their Christian walk together. Him and his wife prayer together each day, and willingly.

When the season ended I felt sad. I was used to having my routine of prayer with my prayer partner, and despite it being time consuming, it was one of the best seasons I have had. However, when I see at what God has done in his life, his wife’s life and how God has transformed their marriage, I can only say that it could have only been God!

Things I learnt from this testimony:

  • Don’t listen to every word of advice you get from your friends

Not everyone has our best intentions. Ask God for discernment and for the right people in your life. Make God the go-to-person for everything.

  • Strength yourself with the word of God

The word of God gives us power and strength to overcome every situation

  • Ask God to give you a seasonal prayer partner

We are one body and we need support from one another to fulfill our purpose.

  • Take by force the blessing God has given you

We should always guard blessing and not allow it to slip away from us John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. 

  • God is teaching you something in this season.

There is always something to be learnt in each season, it is never a waste of time.

God given husband- testimonial

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Witnessing a testimony is an exceptional life changing experience. You encounter God doing the impossible, the miraculous and receiving unexplained victory. This testimony gave me hope, reminded me that God does indeed hear our prayers and that in His timing He perfects all.

I remember sitting on the tube to university one day when I had an odd conviction about my friend. I strongly had an urge to tell her she had to break off the relationship she was in, and that God wanted to bless her with a husband. How does one break this news to someone who is in a happy relationship? How do I really know this is God, or were these my own emotions? I decided to keep it to myself but the feeling kept coming back. After pondering on it for some days I decided to tell her. I said to myself, “God if this is you, you will not put me to shame”. She received the word better than I anticipated and she decided to seek God about it herself. I remember her being afraid of the unknown, leaving the man she loved for no “apart reason” and trusting that God would bring her better. As we went into prayer, I had a vision of a man who loved her, a man of God who had a pastoral calling. Again, I was hesitant to tell her but still did so in the end. For her that was confirmation to leave the life she was living, and solely trust God’s plan.

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I remember her telling me that she felt like it was a step back. How does one start all over again? She moved back to her parents’ home, but I encouraged her that God would not disappoint her. She decided to set up a fellowship at her parents’ house and it was powerful. We had bible studies, praise and worship, powerful prayer sessions and people came from all corners. She invited one of her high school friends to the weekly meeting, who happened to live down the road from her. He was a young man full of wisdom and on fire for Christ.

They started to spend more time together. A few months later, she invited him to come to our church, as we had a special service. During the praise and worship, the same urge came upon me as when I was on the tube. A voice was telling me to pray for them. I tried to ignore the voice but the burden was upon my heart. I decided to take a leap of faith. I walked over to them and told them that I felt led to pray for them. I remember saying in my heart: “Holy Spirit, please pray on my behalf because I don’t know what to say”. As the words started flowing from my month, I prayed for their marriage, their ministry and a boy child. After the prayer, the gentleman whispered to me: “Thank you very much, this is confirmation”. During the same service, the pastor called upon all who knew they had a pastoral calling to the front for a prayer, and he walked over.

Not long after that, he stated his intentions to marry my friend and a few months later they got married. When I see the spiritual growth within her personal life, and the joy she has with her husband I can only testify that it is God’s doing. Whenever I see pictures of their baby boy, I remember that God revealed Him to us, even before He was in His mother’s womb. Sometimes in life, one step backwards is two steps forward.
At the time, moving back to her parents’ house looked like a backward step, not knowing that her God given husband lived down the road from that home. Perhaps if she had not moved, this testimonial would not have taken place (obedience).

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Things I learnt for this testimonial:

1. God speaks to you
Many times we doubt ourselves and wonder whether it is His voice speaking to us. The word tells us that you know His voice- do not doubt!
John 10:27 “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me..”

2. Take a leap of faith
Try to walk into the unknown by trusting the word God has given you. He has good plans for you
Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

3. Uncomfortable situations build up character
No situation last forever and there is always something to learn from it. Sometimes we have to go through uncomfortable situation to embed godly characteristics into us.

Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control”

4. God will not put you to shame
When we put our trust in God, we have the confidence that all will work out for our good.
Psalm 9:10 “And those who know your name put their trust in You, for You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You”.

I want to encourage you today, that whatever your heart yearns and desires, God can give you more than that. God wants to perfect everything in your life. He will not start something that He will not finish and the outcome will be victory!

God over man

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When it comes to Christian dating, I have repetitively heard that ‘thou must not date a unbeliever’. But what defines a believer? Is it when we have declared Jesus as our Lord and saviour? Does one disqualify when they stop attending church? Is a lifestyle what determines ones’ faith? Or is a relationship with the Father more important than the human classification of a believer?

When we started to date, I knew he was a Christian. He didn’t speak in tongues nor had he read Genesis to Revelation, but he knew who God was. Church was not really his thing as his concept was that it was ‘business’. However, he didn’t mind listening to a sermon or two.

The first few months were the glory days; everything was perfect and butterflies tickled throughout my belly. Not long after, I bought him a men’s bible to help him with his Christian walk. However, his response was contradicting from what I had anticipated. The more I mentioned Jesus, the more I realized that we had different Christian norms and values.

Out of love, I decided to seek God on the matter. I wanted him to see God from a different perspective and to strengthen His relationship with the Lord. I didn’t really know how to pray; in fact I never really prayed in general. I didn’t have the words nor was I sure whether the words I was uttering were correct. I was so used to reciting the words of others, that now I was stuck for words.

The more I went into my quiet time to pray for him, the more the words started flow. I started seeing visions as I prayed and was able to prophecy each time I prayed. I started seeing the little words I mumbled during my quiet time manifest into the physical, and the prophetic gift was birthed. The more I prayed for him, the more I spiritually grew and the more he rebelled against me.

I went from praying for him to praying for a few friends to praying for people I didn’t know. Within a short time, God had spiritually elevated me and people wondered what I was doing dating a ‘not so spiritual man’.

We eventually got to a place where I knew I had to choose between him and God. Having him around was pulling me backwards and away from my new-found purpose. However, I found it hard to let go and prayed for Gods’ will to be done (however deep down inside I knew what this entailed).

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He eventually decided that I had become ‘too spiritual’ and decided to move on with his life. I felt so humiliated, as I had prayed for many people and their relationships had moved forward yet mine had crumbled. Everyone knew I was praying for him and for him to walk away was painful. I didn’t understand why my prayer went unanswered. Also, I felt the shame because many people had told me to end the relationship with the ‘not so spiritual man’, yet I held on believing for a breakthrough.

God is good and He is a God of purpose. God brought him in my life to prepare me for my calling and to unleash the gifts which were locked inside of me. Gifts that I never knew existed!

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My shame is what has made me the woman of God I am today. We have our lives pictured and layout out, however we are indeed not fully in control of our destiny. The discomfort of the unknown or the unavoidable situation which we did not prepare for were all meant for the bigger purpose. Right now, you may not be able to see it, but in the long run it will all make sense.

We love listening to the testimonials of others and enjoy the thrilling feeling of the goodness of the Lord. We ask God to use as for His kingdom and that we are ready. However, when life turns against us, we want out. We no longer want to be used through pain, not knowing the greatest testimony is laying ahead of us. We expected the journey to be easier, but with God there is no such thing as an easy testimony- that is why they are so unique.

The beauty about life experiences is that there is always something to learn. Despite, the heartache, disappointment or failure, there is always a valuable lesson. No time is ever wasted, each minute and second has been used to mould you into the individual you are today. Without the struggle, pain and sorrow, you would not be able to boldly stand today. You would not be able to testify that there is a God. You would not have learnt to fully surrender to God as your source of strength, comfort and restoration. You would not have been able to finish the race alone. However, because of His love, He allowed you to walk through the fire. To refine, purify you and to build up your spiritual muscle mass. To witness His goodness, despite all that has happened and to be a living testimony to others.

Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.


God over man- pointers

  • Seek God for clarity. He does speak if you allow Him to and you will safe yourself time and heart ache.
  • Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you. Don’t ignore that little voice whispering, It really is Him.
  • Seek wise godly council. Speak to those who have gone before you about their experiences.
  • Actions speak louder than words. At times, we try to ignore it and to make our own conclusions yet the answer is right in front of us.
  • You cannot change anyone, only God can. All we can do as Christians is to live and exemplative life and to pray for others.
  • Accept that some people don’t want to change. God has given us all free will and all we can do is pray from a far.
  • Pray! As much God has called us to be intercessors for others, always be led by the spirit.
  • Ask God for His purpose and what He is trying to teach you through this situation. There is always a lesson to be learnt.
  • Say no to compromise. It is easier said than done, but by His grace we can do it!
  • Always put God first. When He is first in all you do, all will work out for your good.
  • Say no to distractions. Anyone who is pulling you away from your God given purpose is not worth your time.

Overcoming a broken heart

I remember the incident like it happened yesterday. It was a Saturday around 9 pm. I was innocently scrolling through my Facebook notifications when a post appeared that he was tagged in: “..You are the best thing that has happened to me, I love you, I always have a smile on my face when you call…” STOP! I couldn’t read anymore. This can’t possibly be happening. Moreover, her Facebook surname was the exact same one as his. Could she be a distant cousin I never knew about?

I continued reading and saw that her friends were commenting on the thread and were congratulating her on her new-found love and relationship. STOP! I had to stop reading. I felt as if my heart was going burst out of my rib cage.

Out of curiosity, I snooped through her pictures. She was the complete opposite of me. Was I not good enough? Is this what I deserved to reap after all these years?

I started to cry uncontrollably, and called my prayer partner. It was the most unbearable pain I had ever experienced in my life. She told me I would be okay. I sent him a message with the screenshot of the Facebook post and said that we were done. He never responded. I felt humiliated, everyone that knew us had seen it. Some pretended they never saw, others comforted me, some even said I was to blame. The next day, I attended an event and he was present. No hello, no remorse; he looked the other way.

Is this the person I thought I would spend the rest of my life with? He jumped from saying that I was the woman he envisioned to one day be his life-long partner, to now a complete stranger. Painful.

I had seen the signs before, forgiven, prayed and fasted. However, how does God change one who doesn’t want to change? It is like making a house clean and the owner makes it dirty again. They did not ask you to clean their house and they are not ready to deal with their mess.

I decided to confide in one of my other friends, I showed her messages. She asked me: “why are you looking at this, just move on with your life”. I felt very alone, and it was as if those closest to me did not understand the pain I was in.

He eventually sent me a message, I was hoping it would have been a lousy “I am sorry” or “it is not what it seems like”. Instead, it read “why are you spreading rumours about me?”. That was the end of his communication, and he never apologized.

I asked myself why? What did I do to deserve such maltreatment? Why did things have to end this way? Why the heartlessness? Why the disrespect? Why the coldness?

Even through all the emotion, I kept hearing the Holy Spirit say: “he made a choice”.

I then had a dream, where God showed me my life years ahead from now. I was a mother to a child. As I was nursing the child, He was surrounded by women. He was never going to change.

As painful as it was, I thank God for the experience, because He saved me from a lifetime of pain. Sometimes we pray prayers without realizing that God is working i.e. ‘Let your will be done’.

People always say that time heals however God heals faster. He restored my heart, rejuvenated my spirit and has given me a positive outlook on life.


Overcoming a broken heart- pointers

  • Forgive yourself. We have all made some choices in life which we regret having made. However, God has preserved you; He still has a great life full of joy and blessings ahead. (Jeremiah 29:11)
  • Surrender all your pain to God. As humans, we tend to want to keep some things to ourselves. However, God wants you whole and wants to take the burden for everything that concerns you- even the most painful things. (Psalm 55:22)
  • Forgive. Don’t wait for the other person to apologize to forgive them; they might never do so. Your salvation is more precious than their apology. Ask the Holy Spirit for grace to forgive. (Matthew 6:14-15)
  • Gods plan is always the best. You may not see it now but God is working out a great life for your which will override this situation. (Jeremiah 29:11)
  • You will get through this. Not only will you get through this, but your latter days will be better than your former days. (Job 8:7)
  • Not all men all the same. As cheesy as it may sound, just as God has made you incredibly unique, so do men also differ,
  • Pray over ungodly soul ties. Whether sexual or emotional, for us to fully disconnect from an individual, we need to break spiritual soul ties. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in this prayer.
  • God will give you honour for your shame. You may not see it now, but your double portion is on its way! (Isaiah 61:7)
  • You are worth more than rubies. He might not see it, but we are not defined by what other people think of us, but what God tells us we are. Don’t allow this situation to define who you are (Proverbs 3:15)
  • Pray for him. As much as he does not deserve it, it is a spiritual level God expects us to be able to attain. Ask the Holy Spirit for grace to be able to do so. (Luke 6:28)

Growing up fatherless

ps-3Growing up fatherless has moulded me into the individual I am today. The pros and cons intertwined together have made me unique. It was not until I started attending primary school that I realized I didn’t have a father. To me it was normal and I was very content with my loving mother. My earliest memory of desiring a father was during the days leading up to father’s day. Each year, we made lovely gifts for our daddy’s during class time. Each year, I would give the creative item to my mummy and the children in my class did not understand why. They didn’t understand why my dad was not present, let alone that I had never met him. I remember one year, mum wrapping the father’s day gift and she promised me she would personally deliver it to my father on her trip to our motherland. As promised, she captured the memorable moment of the gentleman holding my gift, and two decades later, I still embrace the photographic image.

I did always wonder what it would have been like growing up with a father. How would he have impacted my life? Would life have been easier? Would he be the person I would run to if mum was not able to provide for a particular need? Why was is it that all my friends had both their parents growing up and I did not meet him until the age of 8?

As I became older, I was judged a lot for not having grown up with a father and was automatically labelled as having “daddy issues”. The concept of “daddy issues” lingers among women who did not grow up with their father. As much as the imbalance remains evident in individuals that did not grow up with both parents, this concept should not be used as an immediate judgement towards an individual. However, in instances whereby other things are used to replace the emptiness faced by an individual due to the imbalance, there is a cause of concern.     

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It was always a lifelong prayer for me to get to know my father and spend time with him. God was merciful and this came to pass (read blog post Rejected but not forgotten). The experience was by far the most heartbreaking and painful one I have encountered to date, but I still thank God for answering my prayer.

At times in our lives when we desire things that God never gave us. We wonder whether God made a mistake or whether He forgot about us. We repetitively ask Him  “Why” and it seems God is silence. God is a loving a merciful God who protects His children in ways that one cannot express. In hindsight, I thank God for not allowing me to grow up with my father. I would not have had the great childhood I had and would not have been moulded into the person I am today. God protected me from disappointment and heartache and I thank Him for that. I thought I had missed out but God was protecting me all along.

A word encouragement for all who grew up in similar circumstance as myself: it is well. As cliché as it may sound, God is the only father who will love you unconditionally and never let you down. He is always there to protect you and always has your best interest. Although at times we may not see it, He always wants the best for us. May God teach us to be content with Him.

Matthew 7:11 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.

Let us stand together in prayer and ask God to restore us. May He remove all the disappointment, pain, rejection and heal us. May He give us the grace to forgive our parents and to see them the way He sees them. Let us thank God for His hand of protection over us and for the way our life has turned out. Our lives may not have gone the way we had anticipated, but God is still in control. May we rise up above all stereotypes, they shall not define us nor be part of us in Jesus name.

Psalm 27:10 Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.

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Growing up fatherless- prayer

Dear heavenly Father,

I give You all praise and all the glory. I thank You for this time. Thank you for preserving and loving me unconditionally. Thank You for the gift of life, it is only by Your grace that I am still alive. Today, I bring the issue concerning my father to You. Lord, I have so many questions, and few answers. It was not easy not growing up fatherless. There were times when I felt rejected, unwanted and unworthy because he was not there. It was not easy and at times I still feel this way. I pray that You will take all these things away in the name of Jesus. I pray that You will replace them with the fruit of the spirit. I pray for Your divine healing, that You will fully heal me from all emotional pain. I pray that You will fill any emptiness I may be feeling. May You turn my mourning into joy. Help me to see the positive aspect in all this. I thank You for all that You have protected me from. Give me the grace to forgive my father for not being there. Help me to love Your son the way You do and to see him the way You see him. Help me to understand that only You can fully satisfy every need. In areas where I have been trying to fill the emptiness with other things, I pray that You will deliver me. Help me not to depend on others but to fully depend on You. I pray that growing up fatherless will only impact by life positively and no longer negatively. I pray that I will see You as my father and may You meet my every need. AMEN

Reuniting the household

If one where to ask you to describe your family in five words, what would you come up with? How many of us would have positive things to say about our family members? Do we display a perfect image, and yet have underlying issues? Are we ready to deal with these issues, or are they better off buried away? Every family has issues- every one of them. With some, it is more evident than others and a lot of the time we would prefer to leave things the way they are, rather than dealing with them.

We are in a season where the Lord wants to restore our families. Not only does He want to restore, He wants to reunite our households. The family unit is very powerful, in particular when it operates in unity- hence why the enemy constantly tries to bring division. Just imagine your entire family sold out for Christ, praying and aligning to the will of God. You would collectively demolish the kingdom of darkness and contribute to building God’s kingdom.

God has given individuals as well as families a purpose that will add to His kingdom. However, most families are broken and that is not of God. He has seen the cries, pains, sorrows and disappointments within our families and He wants to knit us back together.

Joel 2:25-26 So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, The crawling locust, The consuming locust, And the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, And praise the name of the Lord your God, Who has dealt wondrously with you; And My people shall never be put to shame.

In this season, God wants to cleanse our hearts from the unforgiveness, selfishness, strive, bitterness, anger, jealousy, envy and all things that do not please Him. He’s clearing out our homes and rearranging it the way He ordained for it to be. God is tearing down the old foundation of our family and is building a new one.

Joshua 24:15 But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD

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The scripture the Holy Spirit gave me is If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand – Mark 3:25. We need one another! Even within His Kingdom, He calls us the body of Christ. He has purposefully made us unique with different spiritual gifts. When we all come together and operate according to His will, we become an empire of greatness. God wants the same for our families. We all have a unique identity, duty and have role to play in our families. The way He showed it to me is that our families can me compared to a puzzle. Without each puzzle piece being put together, the puzzle is incomplete. You may ask yourself why God has placed you in your family? Why did He give you the relatives you have? It may seem like they don’t have a role to play in our lives. In fact, sometimes we wonder whether God made a mistake. However, when He created you, He knew He would raise you up and use you to intercede for your family and save not only a generation but a nation! Sometimes we are so focused on our own needs that we forget to ask God what His purpose is in it. And although the road may have been rocky at times, it was not in vain. There is always something for us to learn and God will always bring something good out of it

Genesis 50:20 But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.

In first vision I had, I saw God’s mighty hand capturing His children and bringing them back home. This included children who had driven far away from Him. He was drawing family members back to their households, like the prodigal son (read The return of the prodigal son) Hence why in this season it is crucial for us to keep praying for our lost relatives. There is no person who God cannot capture and rebuild in His goodness. In the second vision, I saw Jesus in our homes and He was weeping. As He shed tears, our homes were being cleansed. I then saw Him with a broom and He was sweeping our homes. He was removing all that He did not place in our homes and in our hearts. God is indeed with us and is doing a new thing.

Haggai 2:9 The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,’ says the LORD Almighty. ‘And in this place I will grant peace,’ declares the LORD Almighty.”

I encourage you today to continue pray for your unsaved relatives and those who you find hard to forgive. It takes the grace of God. God loves them as much as He loves us and He as entrusted us to continue to pray for their salvation. May this year be known as the year where the Lord restored our families, reconciled us and did a new thing in our homes.


Reuniting the household- pointers

  • Come to the Lord with a genuine repentant heart. Ask Him to forgive you for your sins.
  • Pray that God will give you the grace to forgive all your relatives and for Him to heal and restore you.
  • Be honest with God about how you feel about particular relatives or incidents that have happened in your family.
  • Ask God reveal all the emotions/feelings we have towards one another and pray that He will remove them.
  • Restoration of headship. Invite Jesus into our home and pray that He will be the centre of your household.
  • Ask God to restore your home and for there to be divine order.
  • Make a list and ask God for all the things you want Him to do in your household.
  • Pray that the love of God, which is unconditional will manifest in your household.
  • Ask God to reveal all generational curses that may still be holding you back as a family, and ask the Holy Spirit to help you pray over these matters.
  • Cancel any negative word which was spoken by relatives and declare positivity over it.
  • Ask God what your families purpose is in the kingdom. Every single one of us has been given a spiritual gift and has a purpose.
  • Pray for the salvation of your lost relatives (see Salvation of a loved one)
  • Ask God on how you and your family can move forward together in unity.
  • Talk out your issues with family members. God wants to iron out our issues, resolve them, so we can move forward.

Let us stand together and pray in unity for the reconciliation and restoration by clicking on the video below:

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Fall from grace

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I fell from grace, yes me. Not only did I drastically fall, I fell flat on my face. Undeniably self-absorbed that I could never fall, the concept of grace became more evident to me. How can one know the Lord, fear Him, know the word of God and still fall? ‘Now that I have fallen, what do I do now? Do I suffer in silence and pretend I never sinned? Who can I confide in without being judged? Will God really forgive me?’

Not only was my fall an eye opener to the underlying sins I was still dealing with, it made me realize that God has given us His spiritual gifts by grace and not works. If it was by works, I would not be entitled to any. He does not bless us because of our ‘good deeds’. In addition to this, God remains merciful and although we fall short, He does not take the gifts away.

There was a question which I pondered upon, and the Holy Spirit gave me the scripture which elaborated upon it. It feels as if the things I am trying to avoid doing, are very irresistible. Why do I still desire them?

Romans 7:14-20 We know that the Law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do. But what I hate, I do. And if I do what I do not desire, I admit that the Law is good. In that case, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh; for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I keep on doing the evil I do not want to do. And if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

After falling, I went to the Lord and poured out. I told Him everything and cleared my heart. I had also accepted that if God was never going to forgive me it was okay, as I was not worthy of being forgiven. I was expecting the biggest punishment and was ready to never receive any more blessings from God. But instead, I felt warmth around me, a peace which was indescribable as well as a love that heals a wound instantly. I felt as if God was saying that He already knew I was going to fall, and that it will not change the way He sees me or the course of my life. He promised me that honour and favour would still be my portion, despite all I had done.

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The Holy Spirit then took me to the book of 2 Samuel 12:1-25 (do read in your spare time). The story narrates about the sinful deeds David committed by sleeping with another man’s wife, impregnating her and then killing her husband (Uriah). However, when the prophet Nathan metaphorically spoke to David about the sins he had committed, David not realizing it was about him. David wanted ‘the sinful man’ to pay for his deeds.

2 Samuel 12:5-6 So David’s anger was greatly aroused against the man, and he said to Nathan, “As the Lord lives, the man who has done this shall surely die!  And he shall restore fourfold for the lamb, because he did this thing and because he had no pity.

This shows us that God’s ways are not like mans’ and the way He sees us is not the way we see ourselves. However, David had a repentant heart, and was willing to change.

2 Samuel 13:15 So David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die. However, because by this deed you have given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, the child also who is born to you shall surely die.” Then Nathan departed to his house.

Moreover, despite David’s sins, God refers to Him as a man after God’s own heart- Acts 13:22.

Not only did God, bless him with another son, He was blessed with Solomon, a king and one of the wisest men to have ever lived.

2 Samuel 13:24-25 Then David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and went in to her and lay with her. So she bore a son, and he called his name Solomon. Now the Lord loved him, and He sent word by the hand of Nathan the prophet: So he called his name Jedidiah, because of the Lord.

In addition to this, Jesus was born into the lineage of David.

What a merciful God we serve indeed!

As long as you are still alive, we are bound to fall in one way or another and can only overcome sin by the grace of God. (Romans 3:10 As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one). Nevertheless, the key to victory is how you get up after falling (Proverbs 24:16..for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes)

If you are like me and you have fallen from grace, open Your heart to your Father and pour out. Tell Him exactly how you feel and act in genuine repentance. Ask Him to give You the grace to move forward and to live a righteous life. Ask God to deliver you from whatever sin you are dealing with, for Him to uproot the weeds- He is able. God is a merciful Father and loves you unconditionally, all He wants is for His child to return to Him and not to perish.

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Do have a look at our youtube teaching ‘falling during your Christian walk’ that goes along side this blog post

Holiness from heaven

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How does one define celibacy? The world defines celibacy as the state of voluntary being unmarried, sexually abstinent, or both, usually for religious reasons. It is often in association with the role of a religious official or devotee. In addition to this, individual Christians have set their own rules of “do’s and do not’s” during the celibacy walk. But how does God see celibacy? What is true celibacy in God’s eyes?

I have found that in this day and age, Christians have really misused the concept of celibacy. For some, it is because of lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6), others it is a way of acceptance and honour within the community. When I sought the Lord concerning this issue, He kept referring me back to holiness. What is holiness in the sight of God and how does it override celibacy? As a Christian who has fallen many times and had to get back up, I always wondered how other Christians did it. Am I the problem or are people not truthful with what they are dealing with? Why do we keep falling?

The Holy Spirit ministered to me and said it was because our hearts are not pure. We continually cut the grass, but do not uproot the plant. We claim we are living pure, holy, righteous lives yet our hearts are filthy. The Holy Spirit said it is not so much the sin, the sin is a product of what are hearts have been feeding on. Feeding on it is just as bad as acting upon it. And if you feed on it, it is just a matter of time before it brings about ungodly fruits (Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows).

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The Lord is calling us to holiness, holiness which is found in heaven. God would rather have us go one whole day in divine holiness, than years of celibacy with a filthy heart. It is not the duration; it is what you do during that time. The Holy Spirit continued and said that if you are:

  • Masturbating
  • Watching pornography
  • Dwelling on former lustful activities
  • Imagining future lustful activities
  • Looking at lustful images
  • Looking at an individual in a lustful manner

You are no different from someone who is involved in the act because you are uniting yourself with spirits of lust, sexual immorality, perversion, fornication and jezebel.

Also, people are not honest about the things they are struggling with. It could be because they do not want to be judged, or because they think they are only ones’ dealing with it. However, if we do not speak up about these things and stand together in prayer, how will we ever overcome?

In addition to this, if one does slip, do not stay in that situation, that is what the enemy wants. Do not be afraid of what others will say, they are also not righteous. Come to the Lord with a repentant heart and He will forgive you Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

God is very serious about His coming and for us to stand in holiness and righteousness in every aspect of our lives. I have repetitively had a dream of my wedding day. In each of the times, the wedding came unexpected, I was not prepared, ready or dressed. But the wedding services continued. This symbolized that I was not ready for the return of Jesus.

One has to ask themselves, that If Jesus was to come back today, would He find you ready?

Revelation 19:7-8

Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear.

(Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God’s holy people)

Let us stand together and genuinely repent to our Father for our filthy hearts. May He cleanse our hearts from the root, renew our minds and let us replace the empty holes in our hearts with the word of God. May God reveal all the things that are still hindering us from living a holy life. May He give us daily grace to keep walking and to overcome the temptations that come our way. May our hearts be pleasing in His sight. May He give us the grace that even when ungodly thoughts come our way, we will resist them. I pray that when Jesus returns, He will find us ready, prepared without any blemishes in the name of Jesus.


Holiness from heaven-prayer

Dear heavenly Father,

I thank You for this day, time and for allowing me to come into Your presence. It is by grace that You have preserved me for a time like this. Thank You for my life, my family and friends. I pray that You will continue to protect us and shield us from the plans of the enemy. Lord, I come before you as a sinner. I have sinned in ways man does not know. I pray Lord that You will have mercy upon me. Have mercy for all the times I have been ungodly and have fallen short of Your standard of holiness. I pray that You will cleanse my heart from the root, and uproot anything in my heart that is not pleasing unto You. (Psalm 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me)

I repent for all the hidden sins all the ungodly thoughts and the hypocrisy, have mercy upon me. Deliver me from sexual immorality, lust, perversion, fornication and Jezebel. Help me to be transparent with You when I am spiritually struggling. Assign angels to me to guide and strengthen me. I desire the holiness, purity and righteousness which is found in heaven. Help me not to conform to the ways of this world, but to strive to attain Your standard of holiness. I pray that You will prepare me and that You will find me ready when You return. In Jesus name, AMEN


Daily declarations

  • I am God’s watchman and my eyes shall be used for the work of God.
  • I am God’s mouthpiece and I shall declare what is pleasing unto the Lord.
  • My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and shall remain holy, as God is holy.
  • My heart is pure and rooted with things that please the Lord.
  • My mind is renewed in the ways of the Lord.
  • I will overcome every temptation that comes my way through Christ Jesus.
  • I shall walk by the ways of the spirit and not of the flesh.
  • My thoughts are the Lord’s thoughts; His ways are my ways.
  • There shall be no retrograding in my spiritual life

Compromising your faith

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The decision to walk in uncompromising faith is a daily battle we have to face. The temptations of this world seem endless. It feels so good and yet it is so wrong in God’s eyes- the struggles of the flesh. The inability to choose between God and man- the battle of the mind. Walking the narrow road alone or strolling on the broad road with a friend- which way to choose? A temporary fulfillment on earth or eternal glory in heaven- patience. Willing to remain unpopular and gain everlasting recognition- long suffering. Is it worth letting you desires die to please your creator? – obedience.

I recently found myself in a compromising situation and had to choose between man and God. The pressures of this world and my emotions got the best of me. Acting upon this, I considered compromising my faith for a temporary situation. Thoughts kept rushing through my mind “God will forgive me anyways, His grace is sufficient” “This is not as bad as it looks, God will somehow find a way of blessing me in this”. Those were all lies from the pit of hell.

However, deep down in my heart I had no peace about the matter and continued pondering over it. Overwhelmingly, I turned to friends for advice: some supported my decision, others did not. What do I do? By the grace of God, a friend of mine shared a dream that she had about me. She did not know I had been battling with this decision. However, in the dream she had, I had made the compromising decision and my life was a mess. I had turned away fully from God and was unhappy. There was a lot shame over my life and I was alone.

I had a dream a few days later, where the Lord said to me “I am pleased with you, however do not make the compromise because it will ruin all the plans I have for you”. I then woke up. The fear of the Lord gripped me and gave me the strength to walk away from the situation and trust God.

Matthew 5:30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

It was by grace that God spoke to my friend and myself in a dream. However, what if He had not warned me, where would I be now? Especially, if I had made the decision solely on my emotions, feelings and the pressures around me. Not compromising my faith resulted in shame, pain, disgrace and losing someone very dear to me. I am thankful for this, as it was all temporary and in the long run has given me honour.

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

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Hebrews 10:26-27 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left,  but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.


Compromising your faith- prayer

  • My prayer for us today is that God will forgive us for all the times we have compromised our faith one way or another. May God forgive us for when we have taken His grace for granted. Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.
  • Let us repent for when we put our own desires before His and for the times we have been disobedient. May God forgive us for the times we have tried to please man and disappointed God. Matthew 16:26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?
  • May God give us the strength and grace to overcome the daily battles we face and not to give into the ways of this world. May He teach us to be selfless and let His ways be our ways. John 3:30 He must become greater; I must become less
  • May God forgive us for all the times we have been ashamed of doing His will and tried to blend into the ways of this world. Luke 12:8-9 I tell you, whoever publicly acknowledges me before others, the Son of Man will also acknowledge before the angels of God. But whoever disowns me before others will be disowned before the angels of God
  • May He continue to empower us as His children and remain courageous and bold to fight the good fight of faith. Luke 9:23-26 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.

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Trust God-not man

Trust God and not man. Easier said than done. The convenience of confiding in an individual with five senses, rather than a Father who at times is silent-inevitable. Trust in the unseen has to mastered in order to avoid misunderstandings, disappointments and paintotal surrender.

We place unrealistic expectations on humans, in particular vessels of God and are ‘stunned’ when they do not meet our “godly standards”. “If only the pastor could touch me, that would be the end of my problems”. “Did you hear about the pastor who slept with a member of the congregation?”. We thank God for pouring His spirit upon man and for the gifting’s He has blessed us with (Acts 2:17). However, just like the rest of us, vessels of God fall short and also have struggles. In fact, they need more prayers than we do.

It is becoming more evident that ungodly relationships are being formed within the body of Christ. Secret sexual relationships occurring between anointed vessels of God and other parties. Am I stunned? Not at all. Who is to blame? We all have a part to play. At times, men and women of God are unable to express their secret struggles- suffering in silence. Others have yielded to the pretense of being the ‘perfect Christian’ without flaws. Some are using their spiritual position to entice others, in particularly if one has not undergone deliverance before pursuing ministry. Many Christians desire a spouse that complements the ‘person on the pulpit’ whilst others fantasize of a lustful relationship with God’s anointed vessel. Others have been deceived by the anointed vessel.

Furthermore, the anointed man/woman of God may be dealing with more issues than you have knowledge of; hence why we need to turn to God first and not man. If God was to reveal to us what each and every man and woman of God was struggling with, you will realize that you are better of seeking matters directly with God. Does that mean that we should not seek after anointed people of God? No, not at all. But our primary trust should be in Christ Jesus and He should be the one we run to first. God wants to be your Father, confidant, your everything and will never disappoint you (Isaiah 9:6 “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace”).

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Recently, an anointed man of God who does not personally know me told me that: “God told him I was his wife”. I immediately discernment his impure motives and indeed was offended by the pursuing: “How dare he, he’s supposed to be a man of God”. However, the Lord reminded me that we are spiritual beings, and have to deal with things in the spiritual realm (Ephesians 6:12 “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places”). And like any other human being, he also has shortfalls (Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”). By the grace of God, I put my emotions aside and  prayed for this man of God to be delivered from the spirit of lust and perversion and to pursue the ministry God has given Him in a righteous manner (Matthew 18:33 “Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?”).

My prayer for us today is that God will teach us to fully surrender and trust Him and not man. May God be the one we go to when we are in need and may He guide and order our steps. Let us pray for the men and women of God in ministry that God will continue to protect them from the devourer. May we acknowledge that they are not supernatural but fellow humans and have flaws and make mistakes (Ecclesiastes 7:20 “Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous, no one who does what is right and never sins”). May God help us not to judge people of God when their sins are exposed(Romans 14:12-13So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way”).May God give them the grace to confess their sins to the Lord and be overcomers.

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