Tag Archives: love

God over man

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When it comes to Christian dating, I have repetitively heard that ‘thou must not date a unbeliever’. But what defines a believer? Is it when we have declared Jesus as our Lord and saviour? Does one disqualify when they stop attending church? Is a lifestyle what determines ones’ faith? Or is a relationship with the Father more important than the human classification of a believer?

When we started to date, I knew he was a Christian. He didn’t speak in tongues nor had he read Genesis to Revelation, but he knew who God was. Church was not really his thing as his concept was that it was ‘business’. However, he didn’t mind listening to a sermon or two.

The first few months were the glory days; everything was perfect and butterflies tickled throughout my belly. Not long after, I bought him a men’s bible to help him with his Christian walk. However, his response was contradicting from what I had anticipated. The more I mentioned Jesus, the more I realized that we had different Christian norms and values.

Out of love, I decided to seek God on the matter. I wanted him to see God from a different perspective and to strengthen His relationship with the Lord. I didn’t really know how to pray; in fact I never really prayed in general. I didn’t have the words nor was I sure whether the words I was uttering were correct. I was so used to reciting the words of others, that now I was stuck for words.

The more I went into my quiet time to pray for him, the more the words started flow. I started seeing visions as I prayed and was able to prophecy each time I prayed. I started seeing the little words I mumbled during my quiet time manifest into the physical, and the prophetic gift was birthed. The more I prayed for him, the more I spiritually grew and the more he rebelled against me.

I went from praying for him to praying for a few friends to praying for people I didn’t know. Within a short time, God had spiritually elevated me and people wondered what I was doing dating a ‘not so spiritual man’.

We eventually got to a place where I knew I had to choose between him and God. Having him around was pulling me backwards and away from my new-found purpose. However, I found it hard to let go and prayed for Gods’ will to be done (however deep down inside I knew what this entailed).

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He eventually decided that I had become ‘too spiritual’ and decided to move on with his life. I felt so humiliated, as I had prayed for many people and their relationships had moved forward yet mine had crumbled. Everyone knew I was praying for him and for him to walk away was painful. I didn’t understand why my prayer went unanswered. Also, I felt the shame because many people had told me to end the relationship with the ‘not so spiritual man’, yet I held on believing for a breakthrough.

God is good and He is a God of purpose. God brought him in my life to prepare me for my calling and to unleash the gifts which were locked inside of me. Gifts that I never knew existed!

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My shame is what has made me the woman of God I am today. We have our lives pictured and layout out, however we are indeed not fully in control of our destiny. The discomfort of the unknown or the unavoidable situation which we did not prepare for were all meant for the bigger purpose. Right now, you may not be able to see it, but in the long run it will all make sense.

We love listening to the testimonials of others and enjoy the thrilling feeling of the goodness of the Lord. We ask God to use as for His kingdom and that we are ready. However, when life turns against us, we want out. We no longer want to be used through pain, not knowing the greatest testimony is laying ahead of us. We expected the journey to be easier, but with God there is no such thing as an easy testimony- that is why they are so unique.

The beauty about life experiences is that there is always something to learn. Despite, the heartache, disappointment or failure, there is always a valuable lesson. No time is ever wasted, each minute and second has been used to mould you into the individual you are today. Without the struggle, pain and sorrow, you would not be able to boldly stand today. You would not be able to testify that there is a God. You would not have learnt to fully surrender to God as your source of strength, comfort and restoration. You would not have been able to finish the race alone. However, because of His love, He allowed you to walk through the fire. To refine, purify you and to build up your spiritual muscle mass. To witness His goodness, despite all that has happened and to be a living testimony to others.

Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.


God over man- pointers

  • Seek God for clarity. He does speak if you allow Him to and you will safe yourself time and heart ache.
  • Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you. Don’t ignore that little voice whispering, It really is Him.
  • Seek wise godly council. Speak to those who have gone before you about their experiences.
  • Actions speak louder than words. At times, we try to ignore it and to make our own conclusions yet the answer is right in front of us.
  • You cannot change anyone, only God can. All we can do as Christians is to live and exemplative life and to pray for others.
  • Accept that some people don’t want to change. God has given us all free will and all we can do is pray from a far.
  • Pray! As much God has called us to be intercessors for others, always be led by the spirit.
  • Ask God for His purpose and what He is trying to teach you through this situation. There is always a lesson to be learnt.
  • Say no to compromise. It is easier said than done, but by His grace we can do it!
  • Always put God first. When He is first in all you do, all will work out for your good.
  • Say no to distractions. Anyone who is pulling you away from your God given purpose is not worth your time.

Compromising your faith

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The decision to walk in uncompromising faith is a daily battle we have to face. The temptations of this world seem endless. It feels so good and yet it is so wrong in God’s eyes- the struggles of the flesh. The inability to choose between God and man- the battle of the mind. Walking the narrow road alone or strolling on the broad road with a friend- which way to choose? A temporary fulfillment on earth or eternal glory in heaven- patience. Willing to remain unpopular and gain everlasting recognition- long suffering. Is it worth letting you desires die to please your creator? – obedience.

I recently found myself in a compromising situation and had to choose between man and God. The pressures of this world and my emotions got the best of me. Acting upon this, I considered compromising my faith for a temporary situation. Thoughts kept rushing through my mind “God will forgive me anyways, His grace is sufficient” “This is not as bad as it looks, God will somehow find a way of blessing me in this”. Those were all lies from the pit of hell.

However, deep down in my heart I had no peace about the matter and continued pondering over it. Overwhelmingly, I turned to friends for advice: some supported my decision, others did not. What do I do? By the grace of God, a friend of mine shared a dream that she had about me. She did not know I had been battling with this decision. However, in the dream she had, I had made the compromising decision and my life was a mess. I had turned away fully from God and was unhappy. There was a lot shame over my life and I was alone.

I had a dream a few days later, where the Lord said to me “I am pleased with you, however do not make the compromise because it will ruin all the plans I have for you”. I then woke up. The fear of the Lord gripped me and gave me the strength to walk away from the situation and trust God.

Matthew 5:30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

It was by grace that God spoke to my friend and myself in a dream. However, what if He had not warned me, where would I be now? Especially, if I had made the decision solely on my emotions, feelings and the pressures around me. Not compromising my faith resulted in shame, pain, disgrace and losing someone very dear to me. I am thankful for this, as it was all temporary and in the long run has given me honour.

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

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Hebrews 10:26-27 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left,  but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.


Compromising your faith- prayer

  • My prayer for us today is that God will forgive us for all the times we have compromised our faith one way or another. May God forgive us for when we have taken His grace for granted. Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.
  • Let us repent for when we put our own desires before His and for the times we have been disobedient. May God forgive us for the times we have tried to please man and disappointed God. Matthew 16:26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?
  • May God give us the strength and grace to overcome the daily battles we face and not to give into the ways of this world. May He teach us to be selfless and let His ways be our ways. John 3:30 He must become greater; I must become less
  • May God forgive us for all the times we have been ashamed of doing His will and tried to blend into the ways of this world. Luke 12:8-9 I tell you, whoever publicly acknowledges me before others, the Son of Man will also acknowledge before the angels of God. But whoever disowns me before others will be disowned before the angels of God
  • May He continue to empower us as His children and remain courageous and bold to fight the good fight of faith. Luke 9:23-26 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.

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The matters of the heart-prayers

Dear heavenly father,

I thank You for today, I thank You for the gift of life and for waking me up today. I thank You for my good health, favour and for the good plans You have for me. I come before You, and bring the matter of my heart. Father, I am a sinner and fall short daily. I ask for Your mercy and for forgiveness, that You will help me to live a righteous and holy life. Purify my heart. May You reveal all that I am doing knowing or unknowing which are not pleasing unto You. Cleanse me with Your precious blood and remove all iniquity from me. Reveal all things I do which are preventing me from entering eternal life with You. Help me to overcome these shortfalls. Remind me that when You reveal these things, it is because You love me and not to condemn. Give me the boldness to confess these matters and to strive to live a life pleasing unto You. Help me not to judge others but focus on becoming a better person.

Thank You for loving me unconditionally, and for revealing my flaws.

 

AMEN

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Rejected but not forgotten

 Rejection, the big letter R word that no woman wants to be reminded of. The thrilling feeling accompanied with pain and shame. It’s a feeling which makes you feel devalued, unwanted and worthless. Having dealt with rejection at various stages in my life, the question which always came to mind is: was I not good enough? The first person to reject me was my father. From conception until the age of 9, he was nowhere to be seen. I was too young to understand why he was not there, but how do you miss something you never had? The longing and desire for a father grew by seeing my other friends with their daddies at the playground, daddy buying them their first barbie or sitting on daddies lap. Rejection robbed me of those experiences and many more.

It was not until the age of 9 when the opportunity came to meet the mystery man. I was full of excitement and anticipation. The big day came, I wore my best dress, had my biggest smile, but the mystery man did not show up. Uncontrollable tears fell down my cheek, and I told my aunt: “my daddy doesn’t love me”. As much as my aunt tried to console me, no words were able to fill that painful void. Two weeks later, the mystery man appeared; much taller than I expected, but his smile and hug made up for all the lost time and tears. At last, I was loved.

 It was not until 5 years later after the first meeting that I saw the mystery man again. At this point in my life, teenage emotions of rage and disappointed had subconsciously taken over. The communication had deteriorated and promises were never fulfilled, rejection eating me up inside. The question came back: was I not good enough? By this time he was unwell, in a coma on life support. I was remorseless and cold-hearted, in fact perhaps this was God’s way of punishing him for rejecting me. Nevertheless, I took the courage and went to his hospital bed. There he was, lifeless. I remember praying and asking God to wake him up and I promised that if he did, I would try to build a relationship with the mystery man and forgive him for all the pain he caused me. The next morning, he woke up and his smile and hug made up for all the lost time and pain. At last, I was loved.

Three years of occasional phone calls and emails went by, until one day he asked for me to move in with him. At last, after 17 years of waiting my daddy finally wanted me. Finally, I was good enough! Little did I know that those 10 months would be the worst months of my life and that I would feel emptier than ever. Rejection at its highest peak, a bleeding heart which was unsewable.

Piercing words which one can never take back, “pack you things and get out of my house”, “you are not my daughter”, “I don’t care if I don’t ever see you again”, have haunted me even in my adult life. Again the repetitive song came back again but in another format: why I am I not good enough? The discrete DNA test for me was the peak of pain and rejection. Our mirroring resemblance was not enough, he wanted biological proof. “The alleged father is not excluded as the biological father of Vanessa N. Based on the testing results obtained from the analyses of the DNA loci listed, the probability of paternity is 99.9%”. There was no apology or remorse. Vowing to fully disconnect from the mystery man, I tried to move on with my life; nevertheless the pain was unbearable. People say that time heals, but I believe it was a wound only the Lord was able to heal. Eight months later, he passed away. There I was at 19, empty, in pain and fatherless. This time he left me for good, never to return- rejection.

                                

The most important thing I have learnt from my experience with my father is that only the Lord can fully satisfy and love us unconditionally. Does that mean that we don’t need people in life? Yes we do. But people will always disappoint us in one way or another (Ecclesiastes 7:20-21 “For there is not a just man on earth who does good and does not sin. Also do not take to heart everything people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you”)

One mistake us humans make is to allow humans to determine our worth and value. We forget that Jesus Himself paid a price that no human being is able to ever pay for us (1 Peter 2:24 “He himself bore our sin in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed”)

When we take a look at the bible, there was a lady called Leah (read Genesis 29) who was rejected by her father. Her father devalued her worth and beauty and gave her away unjustly. In addition to this, she was rejected by her husband. At times, us women hope that our husbands will be able to fill the void of rejection we received from our father, and forget that our husbands are humans- imperfect just like us. Only God is able to fully satisfy us. As much as Leah tried, no amount of ‘trying to please’ her husband changed his view towards her. The blessings God gave her did not sustain her because she was focused on making her husband love her. It was not until she turned to the Lord full-heartedly that she found the joy, love and comfort she was looking for.

(Genesis 29:31-35 “When the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. And Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben, for she said, “Because the Lord has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me.” She conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Because the Lord has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also.” And she called his name Simeon. Again she conceived and bore a son, and said, “Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” Therefore his name was called Levi. And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” Therefore she called his name Judah. Then she ceased bearing”)


Things I have learnt from being rejected:

  • Know who you are, be firm in your identify – do not allow a human to define this for you (Genesis 1:27 “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them”)
  • The enemy can use the people closest to you to destroy your life (1Peter 5:8 “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour”)
  • As a follower of Christ you will face rejection at some point in your life (2 Timothy 2:3 “Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus”).
  • God allows us to go through situations to build character in us (Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law”)
  • Only God is able to fully heal you from pain and give you the grace to forgive (1 Samuel 30:6 “David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the LORD his God”)
  • Christ Himself was rejected by mankind (Isaiah 53:3 “He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem”

 


Daily declaration

  •  I thank you God because when you created me, it was not by mistake but You had and still have a good purpose for my life
  • I am still alive because the future ahead is bright, regardless of my current situation
  • Reveal yourself to me, I desire a deeper relationship with You
  • Show me Your hidden mysteries through dreams and visions
  • Give me wisdom on how to be a woman of impact in this current generation
  • Mould be into a virtuous woman and a role model to other women
  • I am blessed and highly favoured wherever I go
  • I declare a legacy of faith over my life
  • I take authority over any generational curses in my lineage and declare victory over them
  • Reveal anything that I may have done that has displeased You, knowingly or unknowingly

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Prayer of healing

Dear Lord,

I thank You for today, for my life, for the lives of my family members and for good health (Psalm 118:1 “Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever”). Thank You for waking me up today, You have decided to spare me because You still have good plans for my life (Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future). Thank You for loving me, although I fall short daily of your expectations, You have not deserted me (Romans 3:23 ” for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”). Father, You are a loving and merciful dad, You have seen all the rejection I have gone through. People have pained, emotionally and physically. These are wounds only You are able to heal me (Psalm 34:18 “The LORD is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”). People have abandoned, rejected, despised and hurt me. God, heal these wounds with Your precious blood. You have seen every tear I have shed, You have seen the shame I have endure. I pray You will help me to forget about this experience. Erase the pain from the past for my life. I come against any spirit of rejection in my life and my in family lineage and I speak favour in Jesus name. I pray God that You will give me the grace to forgive, this does not come natural to me. I pray for those who have rejected me, that you will change their hearts and may salvation be their portion. I pray that you will fill any emptiness I may feel and that I will not look at any person/thing to fill this void. I pray God that in my marriage, it will be full of peace and joy and be content with the person You have given me. In Jesus precious name I pray, AMEN