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The three-folded cord- testimonial

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The three-folded cord

Whenever I remember this testimony, it reminds me of the need to have tough skin and the persistency not to give up. The practicality of holding on to the blessing God has given you, and not to surrender it. To encourage myself in the word of God, even when the world believes my situation will not change- silence those words. To reprogram our minds to live in victory, knowing that God will not disappoint us for totally surrendering to Him.

The beauty of a prayer partner is that through the journey of partnership, you experience life transforming events that only the two of you will ever understand. “What do you want to pray about”? I asked him. He responded: “I want to pray for my wife and for my marriage. Things have been challenging and my wife does not see things spiritually the way I do”. I knew that things were deeper than he was telling me, and that he was desperate for a divine intervention from God. With time, he started to explain the challenges he was facing, and He needed someone that would stand with him in prayer, to usher him into his breakthrough.

For the coming 6 months, we prayed every day without fail. I was doing my masters at the time and was very busy with assignments. But I always made time for our prayer session. It was something to look forward to as we were believing God for a miracle.

He knew my timetable and I knew his. We became part of one another’s lives. I would look for an empty lecture room or even sit in the car park for us to pray on the phone. He would call me on his lunch breaks from his car and was willing to skip anything to ensure we kept the momentum going.

Some days were good, you could feel God’s presence. However, other days were dull, and we were asking ourselves if it was even worth carrying on. The more we prayed, the more dreams and visions we both would got about each other lives and the clearer we were able to hear God’s voice. There were days when he was weary and tired, and I had to keep giving him words of encouragement to keep going. His current situation was getting worse and contrary from what we were praying for. But he kept on praying. There were days when I would ask myself whether I was wasting my time, but the Holy Spirit kept reminding me I needed to be there for him.  It is amazing how much you can learn from one another. I am more of a seer and he has immense knowledge of the word. I now understand that iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17).

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After a couple of months of praying, my prayer partner called me. I will never forget that May. He shared what had happened in their household. He did not tell me in detail what exactly happened. He said he and his wife were in the living room and an unexplainable presence entered the room. At that moment, something touched the both of them and they decided to rededicate their marriage to the Lord. For them that was a new start, new beginning in their marriage and their relationship with God. (Ecclesiastes 4:12  And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken).

Our prayer sessions were replaced with his prayer sessions with his wife. She is a seer, God shows her things concerning him, and he uses his knowledge in the word to add to their Christian walk together. Him and his wife prayer together each day, and willingly.

When the season ended I felt sad. I was used to having my routine of prayer with my prayer partner, and despite it being time consuming, it was one of the best seasons I have had. However, when I see at what God has done in his life, his wife’s life and how God has transformed their marriage, I can only say that it could have only been God!

Things I learnt from this testimony:

  • Don’t listen to every word of advice you get from your friends

Not everyone has our best intentions. Ask God for discernment and for the right people in your life. Make God the go-to-person for everything.

  • Strength yourself with the word of God

The word of God gives us power and strength to overcome every situation

  • Ask God to give you a seasonal prayer partner

We are one body and we need support from one another to fulfill our purpose.

  • Take by force the blessing God has given you

We should always guard blessing and not allow it to slip away from us John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. 

  • God is teaching you something in this season.

There is always something to be learnt in each season, it is never a waste of time.

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Overcoming a broken heart

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I remember the incident like it happened yesterday. It was a Saturday around 9 pm. I was innocently scrolling through my Facebook notifications when a post appeared that he was tagged in: “..You are the best thing that has happened to me, I love you, I always have a smile on my face when you call…” STOP! I couldn’t read anymore. This can’t possibly be happening. Moreover, her Facebook surname was the exact same one as his. Could she be a distant cousin I never knew about?

I continued reading and saw that her friends were commenting on the thread and were congratulating her on her new-found love and relationship. STOP! I had to stop reading. I felt as if my heart was going burst out of my rib cage.

Out of curiosity, I snooped through her pictures. She was the complete opposite of me. Was I not good enough? Is this what I deserved to reap after all these years?

I started to cry uncontrollably, and called my prayer partner. It was the most unbearable pain I had ever experienced in my life. She told me I would be okay. I sent him a message with the screenshot of the Facebook post and said that we were done. He never responded. I felt humiliated, everyone that knew us had seen it. Some pretended they never saw, others comforted me, some even said I was to blame. The next day, I attended an event and he was present. No hello, no remorse; he looked the other way.

Is this the person I thought I would spend the rest of my life with? He jumped from saying that I was the woman he envisioned to one day be his life-long partner, to now a complete stranger. Painful.

I had seen the signs before, forgiven, prayed and fasted. However, how does God change one who doesn’t want to change? It is like making a house clean and the owner makes it dirty again. They did not ask you to clean their house and they are not ready to deal with their mess.

I decided to confide in one of my other friends, I showed her messages. She asked me: “why are you looking at this, just move on with your life”. I felt very alone, and it was as if those closest to me did not understand the pain I was in.

He eventually sent me a message, I was hoping it would have been a lousy “I am sorry” or “it is not what it seems like”. Instead, it read “why are you spreading rumours about me?”. That was the end of his communication, and he never apologized.

I asked myself why? What did I do to deserve such maltreatment? Why did things have to end this way? Why the heartlessness? Why the disrespect? Why the coldness?

Even through all the emotion, I kept hearing the Holy Spirit say: “he made a choice”.

I then had a dream, where God showed me my life years ahead from now. I was a mother to a child. As I was nursing the child, He was surrounded by women. He was never going to change.

As painful as it was, I thank God for the experience, because He saved me from a lifetime of pain. Sometimes we pray prayers without realizing that God is working i.e. ‘Let your will be done’.

People always say that time heals however God heals faster. He restored my heart, rejuvenated my spirit and has given me a positive outlook on life.

Overcoming a broken heart- pointers

  • Forgive yourself. We have all made some choices in life which we regret having made. However, God has preserved you; He still has a great life full of joy and blessings ahead. (Jeremiah 29:11)
  • Surrender all your pain to God. As humans, we tend to want to keep some things to ourselves. However, God wants you whole and wants to take the burden for everything that concerns you- even the most painful things. (Psalm 55:22)
  • Forgive. Don’t wait for the other person to apologize to forgive them; they might never do so. Your salvation is more precious than their apology. Ask the Holy Spirit for grace to forgive. (Matthew 6:14-15)
  • Gods plan is always the best. You may not see it now but God is working out a great life for your which will override this situation. (Jeremiah 29:11)
  • You will get through this. Not only will you get through this, but your latter days will be better than your former days. (Job 8:7)
  • Not all men all the same. As cheesy as it may sound, just as God has made you incredibly unique, so do men also differ,
  • Pray over ungodly soul ties. Whether sexual or emotional, for us to fully disconnect from an individual, we need to break spiritual soul ties. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in this prayer.
  • God will give you honour for your shame. You may not see it now, but your double portion is on its way! (Isaiah 61:7)
  • You are worth more than rubies. He might not see it, but we are not defined by what other people think of us, but what God tells us we are. Don’t allow this situation to define who you are (Proverbs 3:15)
  • Pray for him. As much as he does not deserve it, it is a spiritual level God expects us to be able to attain. Ask the Holy Spirit for grace to be able to do so. (Luke 6:28)
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The blessed mourner

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Life has never been so overwhelming for me. I had encountered hardship and pain before, but this was one of a kind. There were days when I sat in silence and just did not know what to say anymore; I was puzzled and confused. How can so many hurtful things all happen at once, and why in this way?

The journey commenced in January 2015 when the Lord spoke to me and told me to urgently go to Uganda to pray for my grandmother. At first I doubted my hearing, especially since my grandmother was of a different faith. However, my prayer partner received the same revelation and said she would also accompany me on the journey.

So in April 2015, I went to Uganda. We asked my 87-year-old grandmother if she was receptive to us praying for her and she agreed. We laid our hands on her, prayed for her and her salvation. She was so grateful and asked when we would come back and pray for her. That was the last time I saw her. She passed away in December 2015.

Last time I saw my grandmother, April 2015
Last time I saw my grandmother, April 2015

             

I was shocked as I did not have an incline that she would pass, let alone that the significance of the prayer and that it would usher her into heaven. It really taught me that when God calls you to move and do something, you have to act instantly- no hesitation or doubt. I was really distraught by her death and as she passed away a few days before Christmas and my arrival in Uganda, it was a sombre mourning festive season.

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It was during this trip that I got my hearts desire to pray for John, a minister who spiritually guided me over the years (read blog post – Discerning the season). He was a man of God who I looked up to, who believed one-day God would use me and wanted to see its manifestation. He suddenly passed away in July 2016. It was very devastating and painful. For days, I would stay awake at night wondering if this was really happening. I just didn’t understand how someone who had just started such a huge ministry passed away so suddenly.

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Minister and close friend, John Baptist Mukajanga

During this time of mourning, is when I found out my cousin, brother and friend Hamim had been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. I don’t even know if the word “shocked” can sum up how I felt when I got the news. Is this really all happening at once? How can a fit, athletic, non-smoker, 29-year-old have lung cancer?

I found myself for the next few weeks going to the hospital almost daily to see him, to try and encourage him. The good thing is that he had a lot of friends around him and a big family support. I continued to ask God to heal him and for his salvation (as he was of another faith) but he became worse every day. Within weeks, he went from being a healthy athlete to being unable to talk and eat. It was heart breaking. It was during this time that I went on a prebooked holiday to Uganda. Days after arriving in Uganda is when he passed away. This was August 2016. I just couldn’t believe that another close person had passed away within the space of weeks.

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With my cousin, brother and friend Hamim

The pain became unbearable- I could feel the physical heart ache. This lead to panic attacks and depression. Depression is a silent killer which brought along old bad habits/sins, confusion and disconnecting me from the Lord. I stopped hearing and dreaming and was unable to pray. The spirit of fear had taken over and I was unable to sleep at night. I allowed the pain to consume me, and that was a mistake I made. However, at this time, I no longer knew how to deal with it or what to do anymore.

A week after my return from Uganda, my mum woke me up at 6 am. She initially asked me how I slept and if I was okay. I said yes. It was at that time that she informed me that my other grandmother had passed away. This was a lady I had seen the previous week before my return to London. She was fit, healthy and jolly and there was no sign that it would be the last time I would see her. At this moment, I felt like bad news had become the norm of my life. As I continued to suffer from anxiety, I went back to old habits and sins. I felt trapped in a box.

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Last time I saw my grandmother, August 2016

During this time, people would still send me their prayer requests and would ask me when I was next posting a post on Pearl Sisters. But I thought to myself, “How can I encourage some else when I need encouragement myself?”

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As much as people told me I was going to be “alright” and “get through it”, the times when I was alone in my bed  were when the real manifestation of emotions occurred. It was at this stage that I realised that only God was going to get me through and strengthen me.

1 Samuel 30:6 David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the LORD his God.

The Holy Spirit reminded me that this was for a season (read the blog post Discerning the season), and this season would pass. I started to discern the tricks the enemy was using to destroy me and my ministry, and knew I needed to stand firm. So I took a step back from ministry to focus on myself, my healing and deliverance.  I knew I needed to continue, to encourage someone that everything will be okay.

I want to encourage you today that regardless of what you are going through, you will get through it alive and in one piece. We all go through stages in life where it is so difficult, painful and sorrowful. But this is the time you need to hold unto God the most. He is the only one who can restore and repair and there is always a great lesson to be learnt. It is okay sometimes to take a step back and reflect, seek God for direction and focus on yourself. Take your time, there is no rush. God has seen every tear, pain, and sadness and it is His will for your to be joyful. Take courage.

In memory of Jajja Namutebi, Jajja Namazzi, JB and Hamim xxx

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Reuniting the household

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If one where to ask you to describe your family in five words, what would you come up with? How many of us would have positive things to say about our family members? Do we display a perfect image, and yet have underlying issues? Are we ready to deal with these issues, or are they better off buried away? Every family has issues- every one of them. With some, it is more evident than others and a lot of the time we would prefer to leave things the way they are, rather than dealing with them.

We are in a season where the Lord wants to restore our families. Not only does He want to restore, He wants to reunite our households. The family unit is very powerful, in particular when it operates in unity- hence why the enemy constantly tries to bring division. Just imagine your entire family sold out for Christ, praying and aligning to the will of God. You would collectively demolish the kingdom of darkness and contribute to building God’s kingdom.

God has given individuals as well as families a purpose that will add to His kingdom. However, most families are broken and that is not of God. He has seen the cries, pains, sorrows and disappointments within our families and He wants to knit us back together.

Joel 2:25-26 So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, The crawling locust, The consuming locust, And the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, And praise the name of the Lord your God, Who has dealt wondrously with you; And My people shall never be put to shame.

In this season, God wants to cleanse our hearts from the unforgiveness, selfishness, strive, bitterness, anger, jealousy, envy and all things that do not please Him. He’s clearing out our homes and rearranging it the way He ordained for it to be. God is tearing down the old foundation of our family and is building a new one.

Joshua 24:15 But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD

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The scripture the Holy Spirit gave me is If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand – Mark 3:25. We need one another! Even within His Kingdom, He calls us the body of Christ. He has purposefully made us unique with different spiritual gifts. When we all come together and operate according to His will, we become an empire of greatness. God wants the same for our families. We all have a unique identity, duty and have role to play in our families. The way He showed it to me is that our families can me compared to a puzzle. Without each puzzle piece being put together, the puzzle is incomplete. You may ask yourself why God has placed you in your family? Why did He give you the relatives you have? It may seem like they don’t have a role to play in our lives. In fact, sometimes we wonder whether God made a mistake. However, when He created you, He knew He would raise you up and use you to intercede for your family and save not only a generation but a nation! Sometimes we are so focused on our own needs that we forget to ask God what His purpose is in it. And although the road may have been rocky at times, it was not in vain. There is always something for us to learn and God will always bring something good out of it

Genesis 50:20 But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.

In first vision I had, I saw God’s mighty hand capturing His children and bringing them back home. This included children who had driven far away from Him. He was drawing family members back to their households, like the prodigal son (read The return of the prodigal son) Hence why in this season it is crucial for us to keep praying for our lost relatives. There is no person who God cannot capture and rebuild in His goodness. In the second vision, I saw Jesus in our homes and He was weeping. As He shed tears, our homes were being cleansed. I then saw Him with a broom and He was sweeping our homes. He was removing all that He did not place in our homes and in our hearts. God is indeed with us and is doing a new thing.

Haggai 2:9 The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,’ says the LORD Almighty. ‘And in this place I will grant peace,’ declares the LORD Almighty.”

I encourage you today to continue pray for your unsaved relatives and those who you find hard to forgive. It takes the grace of God. God loves them as much as He loves us and He as entrusted us to continue to pray for their salvation. May this year be known as the year where the Lord restored our families, reconciled us and did a new thing in our homes.

Reuniting the household- pointers

  • Come to the Lord with a genuine repentant heart. Ask Him to forgive you for your sins.
  • Pray that God will give you the grace to forgive all your relatives and for Him to heal and restore you.
  • Be honest with God about how you feel about particular relatives or incidents that have happened in your family.
  • Ask God reveal all the emotions/feelings we have towards one another and pray that He will remove them.
  • Restoration of headship. Invite Jesus into our home and pray that He will be the centre of your household.
  • Ask God to restore your home and for there to be divine order.
  • Make a list and ask God for all the things you want Him to do in your household.
  • Pray that the love of God, which is unconditional will manifest in your household.
  • Ask God to reveal all generational curses that may still be holding you back as a family, and ask the Holy Spirit to help you pray over these matters.
  • Cancel any negative word which was spoken by relatives and declare positivity over it.
  • Ask God what your families purpose is in the kingdom. Every single one of us has been given a spiritual gift and has a purpose.
  • Pray for the salvation of your lost relatives (see Salvation of a loved one)
  • Ask God on how you and your family can move forward together in unity.
  • Talk out your issues with family members. God wants to iron out our issues, resolve them, so we can move forward.

Let us stand together and pray in unity for the reconciliation and restoration by clicking on the video below:

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Forgiveness after betrayal

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Think back at a time in your life when you were betrayed. How did you feel? What type of emotions did you have towards the person who betrayed you? Did you love and embrace them? Did you forgive them? Are you still holding on to the pain in your heart? Recently, I found myself replaying these questions over and over again. I could just not grasp why someone so close to me would betray me- “After everything I have done for her”. And even after repetitively declaring that “I had forgiven her”, the anger and bitterness did not fade. In fact, I felt justified to not forgive her or ever speak to her again.

The Lord then convicted me, and reminded me of His own betrayal. The people He loved, prayed for, and walked with  turned their backs on Him, and yet He was blameless. Peter was chosen by Jesus to walk with Him and be a disciple. He knew Jesus personally and witnessed Him proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing sickness and diseases (read the book of Matthew). Jesus even healed Peter’s mother in law (Matthew 8:14-15 When Jesus came into Peter’s house, he saw Peter’s mother-in-law lying in bed with a fever.  He touched her hand and the fever left her, and she got up and began to wait on him).

Jesus declared a blessing over Peter’s life (Matthew 16:17-19 Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.  I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven”).

And Peter was privileged enough to witness supernatural encounters 

(Matthew 17:1-8 After six days Jesus took with him Peter, James and John the brother of James, and led them up a high mountain by themselves.  There he was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light.  Just then there appeared before them Moses and Elijah, talking with Jesus.Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you wish, I will put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.” While he was still speaking, a bright cloud covered them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him! ”When the disciples heard this, they fell facedown to the ground, terrified.  But Jesus came and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.” When they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus).

And after all this, Peter still denied Jesus (Matthew 26:69-75 Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said.But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.”He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man! Immediately a rooster crowed. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly).

In addition to this, His other disciple Judas betrayed Him  (read the book of Matthew) and yet Jesus still referred to Him as His friend (Matthew 26:47-50 And while He was still speaking, behold, Judas, one of the twelve, with a great multitude with swords and clubs, came from the chief priests and elders of the people. Now His betrayer had given them a sign, saying, “Whomever I kiss, He is the One; seize Him.”  Immediately he went up to Jesus and said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed Him.But Jesus said to him, “Friend, why have you come? ”Then they came and laid hands on Jesus and took Him).

How many of us would love, embrace and forgive someone after encountering all this pain and hardship and still call them our friend? My prayer for us today is that God gives us the grace to be more Christ-like and have a more forgiving heart. Let our eyes be fixed on Him and not humans, who will let us down- as HE never will.

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Forgiveness after betrayal- prayer

Dear heavenly Father,

I thank You for this time and for allowing me to come into Your presence. I thank You for my life and that of my loved ones. Thank You that though I am a sinner, You still chose to love me. I repent of all the sins that I have committed, knowing and unknowingly. I pray that You will have mercy upon me. Father, there are many emotions I am feeling concerning the betrayal of (state the person’s name). My prayer is that You will help me to forgive him/her. Forgiveness does not come naturally, and I pray that You will give me the grace to forgive (Matthew 18:21-22). I pray that You will heal me from this experience and help me to let go. Teach me to fix my eyes on You and not on man. Help me to put my trust in You, knowing that You will not disappoint me. Help me to acknowledge that (state the person’s name) is human and not perfect. Thank You for allowing me to go through experience. I believe something good will come out of this. I pray for (state the person’s name) that You will forgive him/her and have mercy upon his/her life. I speak Your blessings over (state the person’s name) life and that You will meet his/her needs. I pray that I will embrace (state the person’s name) and see him/her the way You do. I come against any lie of the enemy, any spirit of unforgiveness, bitterness and anger in the name of Jesus. I pray that I will only declare blessings over (state the person’s name) and not curses. In Jesus name, AMEN.

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Seasonal people

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Phonto (1)

The year 2015 has been a year of rearrangement, growth and isolation for me during my Christian walk; in particular, concerning the people in my life. The Lord has rearranged my friendship circle, brought individuals who have helped me spiritually grow, and kept me isolated to spend more time with Him.

The discontinuity within friendships is never an easy one to comprehend: in particular, when God mysteriously removes people from our lives. One wonders: “Why would God remove this person? We have been friends forever”. These friends are seasonal and have fulfilled the purpose God had for them in your life. When this disconnection occurs, one may feel a number of negative emotions. However, remember that God knows what He is doing and sees ahead of time (Isaiah 46:10 “I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please”). In addition to this, rearrangements allow us to move unto the next stage in our lives without hindrances.

Not long ago, I went through one of the most difficult seasons I have ever witnessed in my life. I was being tested in every area of my life and unable to cope. It was as if God was playing hide and seek with me and the trials and tribulations of this world had really gotten to me. I had not guarded my heart and the deceits of this world had started to creep in. I had gotten to a place where I was so overwhelmed and asked God to take me home (thank God He doesn’t answer all our prayers). But I remembered what Jesus did when the trials of this world got to Him (Mark 14:36 “Abba, Father, he cried out, everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine).

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So I cried unto the Lord and asked Him to give me the grace to keep walking. And out of the blue, people started calling me saying that God had placed it unto their hearts to pray for me. Others had visions and dreams of my pain. These individuals were not my usual friends or people I would usually turn to in tough times. In fact, those people actually turned their back on me during this season. The individuals God sent were seasonal people, who helped me overcome the battles and pass the test.

Recently, I was not feeling too well and spent the day at the hospital. Unable to walk properly and in excruciating pain, I decided to download the UBER app to take a taxi home. However, for some reason the app refused to fully download and kept freezing at 2%. I turned my phone on and off, sat in various positions to get reception (though I had full reception) and it refused to load. I decided to give up and cross the road and take a bus home. In the far distance, I saw a lady cross over the road and walk towards me. Upon arrival she said: “ Excuse me, the Lord has told me you are in pain and that I need to give you a lift home”. I was in so much shock “Could this really have been God?”. I decided to take the leap of faith and went along with her to her car. I sat next to her daughter who was about 7-8. I asked her what her name was and she said Vanessa Anne (my full name is Vanessa Annelies). At this moment it hit me that God was with me, in fact He never left!

I just want to encourage you today to keep pressing on and keep walking. Our Christian walk is packaged with many challenges, but God will always bring someone to pray for you or use them to show you that He is still with you. Thank God for the people He has brought, the people He has taken away and the seasonal people He is bringing to help you reach your destiny.

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Seasonal people – pointers

  • Do not be upset when people leave your life, they have fulfilled their purpose.
  • Allow God to rearrange your friendship circle, He knows what is best for you.
  • Do not look at people you have helped to stand there with you during difficult times. God will send His seasonal people to stand with You.
  • Periods of alone-time are good, it allows you to hear God’s voice more clearly and have an intimate relationship with God.
  • When times are tough, look unto God and not unto man (1 Samuel 30:6 David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the LORD his God).
  • People will always disappoint you, but God never will (Psalm 118:8-9 It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes).
  • Guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23 Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life).
  • Focus on God and all things will fall into place (Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things).
  • You are not forgotten and God has placed you unto the hearts of His servants to intercede for you (Galatians 6:2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ).
  • Ask God what He is trying to teach You in this season and ask Him help you to pass the test.
  • Strive to please God and not man. All other things will fall into place (Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you).Phonto (1)
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A prayer of healing

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Can God really heal? I pondered on this question for most of my Christian life. Are the testimonies we see were people “proclaim” they were healed by the Holy Spirit real? Is the same God who healed in the biblical days still able to perform miraculous healings? One will never know the answers until they fully surrender healing to the Lord.

I prayed but the person still died, why didn’t God heal them? (Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD). In such situations, we thank the Lord that the individual has received eternal life and no longer has to suffer on earth.

Phonto

During the early days of my Christian walk, my father (see the blog post: Rejected but not forgotten) was diagnosed with a brain tumour. It was a very difficult time for me as I had just entered into adolescence and had only met him once at the age of 8. Growing up, I had a lot of resentment towards him for not playing an active role in my upbringing. I never expected that the next time I would see him that he would be lifeless using an oxygen mask. A few days prior to his operation, he called me and said “Vanessa, you are still so young and I didn’t see you grow up. I am not sure I will make it through this operation”. I remember spontaneously responding: “daddy you will be fine”. After the operation, we were informed that my father’s operation was successful and the tumour was removed.

However, he was in a coma and on life support. I was in the Netherlands at the time on holiday and my family took me to Universität zu Lübeck, Germany where he was. I remember seeing him for the second time after 6 years: tubes around his face and wearing an oxygen mask. I remember touching him and thanking God he was still warm and alive. I never knew that the next time I would see him; he would be in this kind of state. After the visit, my family sat me down and told me I needed to be strong and explained that the doctors where planning on taking him off life support the following week.

I remember thinking to myself: “I refuse to be fatherless at this age, I want to have peace with my father. I want to forgive him, get to know him and give our relationship another chance”. At that point, I went on my knees, I don’t exactly remember the words I uttered. But I begged God not to take him. I grew up having a lot of bitterness  towards him for not being an active person in my life. I asked God to forgive me. My only prayer was that he would wake up, and that God would allow me to get to know him. I didn’t want my father to pass away without me ever knowing him. I never told anyone I said that prayer until recently. However, God was faithful and my dad woke up from his coma the following day and they took him off life support.

We went back to Universität zu Lübeck, and it was amazing seeing my father alive: talking, smiling and saying how tall I had become. Three years later, God fulfilled my prayer request and my father asked me if I could come and stay with him and get to know him. I stayed with him for 10 months. Less than a year after that, he passed away. I will always be grateful to God that He allowed me to get to know my father. It was not the most pleasant experience but it allowed me to fill a gap in my heart that I had desired for all my life. Also, I thank God for being merciful for extending his life for 5 extra years after the brain tumour- all glory to Jesus.

If there is a loved one you are believing God for to heal, don’t give up. Surrender them to the Father, He is still able. However, also acknowledge that it is His desire for us to join Him in heaven and that the greatest prayer You can pray for their salvation.

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A prayer of healing

Dear heavenly Father,

I thank You for everything that You have done in my life and continue to do. Thank You for waking me up today, for I know it was by Your grace. I come before You and repent of my sins. I repent for the sins I have committed knowingly and unknowingly. I pray that You will cleanse me with Your blood and forgive me. Today, I bring before you (state the persons name). Lord, I know that is Your desire for good things to happen in our lives (Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end). I pray Lord, that You will heal (state the persons name) in the name of Jesus. For in Your word it states that by Your stripes we are healed (Isaiah 53:5). I pray today that Your healing power will manifest in (state the persons name) and that they will testify of your goodness in the land of the living. I pray for (state the persons name)’s salvation, that they will acknowledge You as their Lord and saviour. I pray that You will deliver them from the hand of the enemy and may Your angels protect them from all evil. I speak Your favour over (state the persons name)’s life. I also pray that Your perfect will be done in (state the persons name)’s life and may it be all for Your glory. In Jesus name we pray, AMEN

Phono

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The matters of the heart-prayers

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Dear heavenly father,

I thank You for today, I thank You for the gift of life and for waking me up today. I thank You for my good health, favour and for the good plans You have for me. I come before You, and bring the matter of my heart. Father, I am a sinner and fall short daily. I ask for Your mercy and for forgiveness, that You will help me to live a righteous and holy life. Purify my heart. May You reveal all that I am doing knowing or unknowing which are not pleasing unto You. Cleanse me with Your precious blood and remove all iniquity from me. Reveal all things I do which are preventing me from entering eternal life with You. Help me to overcome these shortfalls. Remind me that when You reveal these things, it is because You love me and not to condemn. Give me the boldness to confess these matters and to strive to live a life pleasing unto You. Help me not to judge others but focus on becoming a better person.

Thank You for loving me unconditionally, and for revealing my flaws.

 

AMEN

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Rejected but not forgotten

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 Rejection, the big letter R word that no woman wants to be reminded of. The thrilling feeling accompanied with pain and shame. It’s a feeling which makes you feel devalued, unwanted and worthless. Having dealt with rejection at various stages in my life, the question which always came to mind is: was I not good enough? The first person to reject me was my father. From conception until the age of 9, he was nowhere to be seen. I was too young to understand why he was not there, but how do you miss something you never had? The longing and desire for a father grew by seeing my other friends with their daddies at the playground, daddy buying them their first barbie or sitting on daddies lap. Rejection robbed me of those experiences and many more.

It was not until the age of 9 when the opportunity came to meet the mystery man. I was full of excitement and anticipation. The big day came, I wore my best dress, had my biggest smile, but the mystery man did not show up. Uncontrollable tears fell down my cheek, and I told my aunt: “my daddy doesn’t love me”. As much as my aunt tried to console me, no words were able to fill that painful void. Two weeks later, the mystery man appeared; much taller than I expected, but his smile and hug made up for all the lost time and tears. At last, I was loved.

 It was not until 5 years later after the first meeting that I saw the mystery man again. At this point in my life, teenage emotions of rage and disappointed had subconsciously taken over. The communication had deteriorated and promises were never fulfilled, rejection eating me up inside. The question came back: was I not good enough? By this time he was unwell, in a coma on life support. I was remorseless and cold-hearted, in fact perhaps this was God’s way of punishing him for rejecting me. Nevertheless, I took the courage and went to his hospital bed. There he was, lifeless. I remember praying and asking God to wake him up and I promised that if he did, I would try to build a relationship with the mystery man and forgive him for all the pain he caused me. The next morning, he woke up and his smile and hug made up for all the lost time and pain. At last, I was loved.

Three years of occasional phone calls and emails went by, until one day he asked for me to move in with him. At last, after 17 years of waiting my daddy finally wanted me. Finally, I was good enough! Little did I know that those 10 months would be the worst months of my life and that I would feel emptier than ever. Rejection at its highest peak, a bleeding heart which was unsewable.

Piercing words which one can never take back, “pack you things and get out of my house”, “you are not my daughter”, “I don’t care if I don’t ever see you again”, have haunted me even in my adult life. Again the repetitive song came back again but in another format: why I am I not good enough? The discrete DNA test for me was the peak of pain and rejection. Our mirroring resemblance was not enough, he wanted biological proof. “The alleged father is not excluded as the biological father of Vanessa N. Based on the testing results obtained from the analyses of the DNA loci listed, the probability of paternity is 99.9%”. There was no apology or remorse. Vowing to fully disconnect from the mystery man, I tried to move on with my life; nevertheless the pain was unbearable. People say that time heals, but I believe it was a wound only the Lord was able to heal. Eight months later, he passed away. There I was at 19, empty, in pain and fatherless. This time he left me for good, never to return- rejection.

                                

The most important thing I have learnt from my experience with my father is that only the Lord can fully satisfy and love us unconditionally. Does that mean that we don’t need people in life? Yes we do. But people will always disappoint us in one way or another (Ecclesiastes 7:20-21 “For there is not a just man on earth who does good and does not sin. Also do not take to heart everything people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you”)

One mistake us humans make is to allow humans to determine our worth and value. We forget that Jesus Himself paid a price that no human being is able to ever pay for us (1 Peter 2:24 “He himself bore our sin in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed”)

When we take a look at the bible, there was a lady called Leah (read Genesis 29) who was rejected by her father. Her father devalued her worth and beauty and gave her away unjustly. In addition to this, she was rejected by her husband. At times, us women hope that our husbands will be able to fill the void of rejection we received from our father, and forget that our husbands are humans- imperfect just like us. Only God is able to fully satisfy us. As much as Leah tried, no amount of ‘trying to please’ her husband changed his view towards her. The blessings God gave her did not sustain her because she was focused on making her husband love her. It was not until she turned to the Lord full-heartedly that she found the joy, love and comfort she was looking for.

(Genesis 29:31-35 “When the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. And Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben, for she said, “Because the Lord has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me.” She conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Because the Lord has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also.” And she called his name Simeon. Again she conceived and bore a son, and said, “Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” Therefore his name was called Levi. And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” Therefore she called his name Judah. Then she ceased bearing”)

Things I have learnt from being rejected:

  • Know who you are, be firm in your identify – do not allow a human to define this for you (Genesis 1:27 “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them”)
  • The enemy can use the people closest to you to destroy your life (1Peter 5:8 “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour”)
  • As a follower of Christ you will face rejection at some point in your life (2 Timothy 2:3 “Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus”).
  • God allows us to go through situations to build character in us (Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law”)
  • Only God is able to fully heal you from pain and give you the grace to forgive (1 Samuel 30:6 “David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the LORD his God”)
  • Christ Himself was rejected by mankind (Isaiah 53:3 “He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem”

 

Daily declaration

  •  I thank you God because when you created me, it was not by mistake but You had and still have a good purpose for my life
  • I am still alive because the future ahead is bright, regardless of my current situation
  • Reveal yourself to me, I desire a deeper relationship with You
  • Show me Your hidden mysteries through dreams and visions
  • Give me wisdom on how to be a woman of impact in this current generation
  • Mould be into a virtuous woman and a role model to other women
  • I am blessed and highly favoured wherever I go
  • I declare a legacy of faith over my life
  • I take authority over any generational curses in my lineage and declare victory over them
  • Reveal anything that I may have done that has displeased You, knowingly or unknowingly

Philipians 4:6-7

Prayer of healing

Dear Lord,

I thank You for today, for my life, for the lives of my family members and for good health (Psalm 118:1 “Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever”). Thank You for waking me up today, You have decided to spare me because You still have good plans for my life (Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future). Thank You for loving me, although I fall short daily of your expectations, You have not deserted me (Romans 3:23 ” for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”). Father, You are a loving and merciful dad, You have seen all the rejection I have gone through. People have pained, emotionally and physically. These are wounds only You are able to heal me (Psalm 34:18 “The LORD is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”). People have abandoned, rejected, despised and hurt me. God, heal these wounds with Your precious blood. You have seen every tear I have shed, You have seen the shame I have endure. I pray You will help me to forget about this experience. Erase the pain from the past for my life. I come against any spirit of rejection in my life and my in family lineage and I speak favour in Jesus name. I pray God that You will give me the grace to forgive, this does not come natural to me. I pray for those who have rejected me, that you will change their hearts and may salvation be their portion. I pray that you will fill any emptiness I may feel and that I will not look at any person/thing to fill this void. I pray God that in my marriage, it will be full of peace and joy and be content with the person You have given me. In Jesus precious name I pray, AMEN

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The purity of a Christian woman- prayers

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Help Meet

Father, I come before you because of my desire for marriage. I believe as your daughter it is my portion to enjoy the blessing of holy matrimony (Matthew 21:22 “And all things whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive”. I understand it is by Your grace that I will receive this blessing and not my works. I pray that You will first teach me how to be content with You Father and make You the centre of my life. I know that before my earthly husband You are my husband Lord (Isaiah 54:5 “For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,  the God of the whole earth he is called”).I surrender myself and my marriage unto you and have faith that the plans that you have for me are good (Romans 8:28 – “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose”).

Lord, as it took a year to prepare Queen Esther, I pray that in this waiting period that You will prepare me to be a wife and mother. I pray that You will reveal my marriage purpose in Your kingdom. I pray Lord that You will teach me to have the characteristics to build my husband, home and children unto Your foundation (Ephesians 4:2 “Be always humble, gentle and patient. Show your love by being tolerant with one another”). Make me a spiritual adviser to my husband and children. Teach me how to fulfill my earthly purpose and how to be a blessing to others. I pray that you will teach me your love and help me to transfer this unto my household (Proverbs 31:26 “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue”). I pray that You will teach me to respect my husband and his leadership (Ephesians 5:22-24 “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything”.

Teach me how to be submissive just like Sarah submitted to Abraham (1 Peter 3:6 “like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear”). I dedicate my children unto You, for Your kingdom, for Your works as Your servants, as Hannah dedicated Samuel to You (1Samuel 1:27-28” I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD. And he worshiped the LORD there”).I pray Lord that wherever my Adam is, that You will prepare him to be my husband and head of our household. I pray that when I meet him, that I will discern him with Your eyes and not at the ways of man. I declare purity over our courtship and pray that You will align his ways into Yours. I pray that he will respect me and love me the way You do (Ephesians 1:25:28 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself”). In this time of preparation, I pray that You will protect him from the distractions of this world and may his eyes be fixed on You.

Thank you Lord for I believe You have answered my prayer. AMEN

Abuse 

Dear Heavenly Father, I come before You as Your servant, Your daughter, a daughter Zion. Father, there are many things that I have encountered, physically and emotionally. Lord, You see what man does not see, You know all things. I pray Lord that You will heal me, from all emotional abuse, from words that were spoken to me or over my life (Isaiah 53:5 “…By His stripes we are healed”). 

Where people have said painful words, I ask You to heal me Father and make me whole. Give me the grace to forgive them, because when we forgive those who trespass against us, You forgive our sins (1John 1:19 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness”). Give me the grace to be able to pray for them. I pray against any form of bitterness, anger, pain, fear and sadness I may feel towards these people/this person. Holy Spirit, help me to understand that because You woke me up today, you still have a great plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope”). 

I also pray for those who have hurt me, that salvation will be their portion and that they will desire a deeper relationship with You (Matthew 5:44” But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you). 

We give you praise Lord, all Glory goes to you. AMEN 

 

Dear Heavenly Father, 

In hard times it’s difficult to rejoice, but I thank you Lord for giving me another day. I come before you Lord, and ask you to wash me with your precious blood (Ephesians 1:7 “He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins“). Father, you know my hidden secrets, You see all the painful encounters I have had. I pray Lord that You will heal me from all physical abuse. I pray You will help me to forget this painful experience and cleanse me with Your precious blood. I pray against self-pity, loneliness, depression and guilt. Remind me O Lord, that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus and that you foresaw this matter before my existence on earth and You still died for my sins on the cross (Isaiah 46:10 “I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please”).I know that as Your servant at times we experience painful circumstances, but just as You won over death, help me to overcome this situation. Give me the grace to forgive those who have hurt me, it’s not easy but I know that Your grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong”. Teach me to be content in You and understand that only You can fully satisfy me and my every need.  May the Holy Spirit remind me that I am worth more than rubies. Help me not to be ashamed of my scars, but know that through this experience you will strengthen me for greater things, as your words says: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”- Philippians 4:13. Be with me O Lord, be my peace, strength now and forever more. 

AMEN 

                                                                        

Generational Curses 

Dear Lord, 

I thank you for today Father as I believe You are doing a new thing in my life and the lives of my family members today in Jesus name. Father, I bring the matter of marriage before your O Lord. I thank You my Lord, as I know as Your daughter that it is my portion to be married in. Right now Father, I come against any generational curses that have had legal right upon my marriage in the name of Jesus. I disconnect myself, and all my relatives from my father and mothers side in Jesus name. I pray Lord that where there has been a drought in the area of marriage in my family, I uproot it and plant a seed of prosperous marriages in Jesus name. I repent on behalf of my parents and ancestors for any form of polygamous activities in Jesus name. I come against any spirit of lust, perversion, idol worship, rebellion, witchcraft and sexual immorality in my family and I declare holiness and righteousness upon my entire family and children to come in Jesus name (Luke 10:19 ” I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy, nothing will harm you”). 

 I destroy everything that is contrary to Your will in my family blood line in Jesus name, I come against any jezebel spirit and command you to release yourself from my life and my family’s life in Jesus name. Any demonic forces that have been bringing the wrong men and women into our family, we disconnect ourselves from them in Jesus name. I destroy any evil dedications, traditions and witchcraft from myself and my entire family in Jesus name (Jeremiah 1:19 “They will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you. For I am with you, says the Lord, to deliver you”). I declare salvation upon my entire lineage and declare that we belong in the lineage of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I destroy any spiritual marriage assigned to my life and that of my family in Jesus name. I destroy any curses of polygamy spoken over the men and women of our household in Jesus name. I rebuke shame and disgrace and declare honour upon our household. Wherever my Adam is, I declare that you will awaken and prepare him and bring us together at the appointed time. Delay shall no longer be my portion. Every prophetic word that You have spoken Lord over my marriage will start to manifest from today forward in Jesus name. I thank You Lord for this deliverance and for this breakthrough. I give You praise because just like David we shall sing to the songs of victory (2 Samuel 22 “David sang to the LORD the words of this song when the LORD delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul”). I thank you for this big testimony and my entire family shall have Your praise on their lips.  AMEN. 

  

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