Seasonal people, we are indeed seasonal people. How do we know we are in a particular season and when will it end? Discerning the season can be tricky at times, and requires revelation from the Holy Spirit. Revelation brings about more clarity to ones’ situation, teaches valuable lifelong lessons and gives one hope.
My current season has had more lows than ups and I pondered why God allowed me to walk this journey. It can be depicted as a strong earthquake destroying all that is around it, all in a short frame of time – it is for a season. One may want to ask God What His purpose is for the current season. What is God trying to teach you? How does one pass the test? As uncomfortable as the season may be, one must walk and battle through it to get to the next phase in life.
My biggest pain in this season has been the departure of John. I was 21 when I met John. I was at a Christian retreat in Uganda and we sat on the same breakfast table . “God is going to use you one day and you will have your own ministry, he said”. At the time I thought it was the most hilarious statement one had ever spoken concerning my life. “I mean people operate in their spiritual gifts as soon as they are born right? I don’t have any and I don’t even know how to pray. Moreover, I have committed the worst sins ever, there was no way God was ever going to be able to use me”. But he insisted He saw the revelation clearly and told me He would walk with me during my spiritual walk. During the prayer meeting, John uttered a few words and the presence of the Holy Spirit touched me in a way I have never experienced before. The Holy Spirit was real and I felt transformed. I later found out that he was one of the ministers at the church and I always admired his humility.
When I returned to the UK, we remained in touch and whenever he had time he continued to guide me in the ways of the Lord. He became like a spiritual father to me. His church grew to countless numbers of attendees, God blessed him with a huge teaching and deliverance ministry. He had his own TV show on the Ugandan television and a slot on the Christian radio station. He was a man who loved people of all dominions and would always go to the hospital to pray for my Islamic grandmother. After witnessing him healing and delivering many individuals, I also witnessed a personal testimony which touched the depth of my heart. He prayed for my unbelieving mother and she received Jesus as her Lord and savior. That was one of the most treasurable moments of my life.
It was always my heart’s desire to be able to pray for the man of God. I wanted him to see the work the Lord had done in me in five years since the retreat. In January 2016, this came to pass and he was astonished by the spiritual growth. It was as if it was a proud father/daughter moment and he encouraged me to keep pushing my ministry.
However, July 2016, John unexpectedly passed away at the age of 40. It was such a tremendous shock to me and it felt as if my life was over. Why him? How am I going to be able to carry on this spiritual journey alone? I physically cannot take this pain. He was such a great spiritual figure in my life, within my family and had become family to us. Why did he have to go so soon? His ministry has only just started and the body of Christ needs him! However, it was his season to be with the Lord.
The Holy Spirit comforted me by referring me back to the disciples and how they responded to Jesus’ crucifixion. They did not fully comprehend His purpose and why He had to leave them. However, they knew they needed to keep walking, keep fighting the good fight of faith and to continue the work Jesus had started. That is what has encouraged me to keep on going.
As much as this season has been a time of mourning, it has also been a season of growth for me spiritually. I have had to learn to stand on my own two feet and strengthen my relationship with the Father. It is a season where I have been forced to be bold and keep my eyes on Jesus, despite my current circumstance. There are aspects of myself I would not have been able to identify had I not gone through this low season and in the long run it has made me a better person. I thank God for the season He gave me with John, for the valuable lessons I learnt from him and for giving me someone who believed in what God was planning for my life. I would not have been the Christian I am not today had I not met him. God has reminded me that the Holy Spirit who worked through John is still alive. We cannot give up, regardless of how painful our current situation is. We have to continue with His work as our time is precious and there is still a lot of work to do!
To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born,
And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace